ALL of my dreams are bad...

I can not remember the last time I had a nice dream. I always dream of death and destruction, usually in the form of a plane crash. I dream about planes crashing almost every night.

I also frequently dream that I am driving in a small car on the highway, and all of a sudden the road is very hilly and I start to lose control of the car. Then the road ends. It just ceases to exist, and my car flies off the edge and into nothingness.

Finally, I often dream that my boyfriend is cheating on me, or breaks up with me out of the blue and is very nasty about it.

I'm guessing these are due to anxiety...

Maybe I do have good dreams... but I don't remember them.

Anyone else have bad dreams all the time?

I don't have them all of the time, they come in spurts.
Common motifs being murderers, psychopaths, molestation and in general death.

Vanilla Bean,

I am sorry about your bad dreams. Maybe some kind of medication would help you have more soothing or healing dreams.

(((((((Vanilla Bean)))))))

EJ

((Vanilla Bean))
I'm so sorry you are having such bad dreams...

Jme, but I have bad dreams/mini-nightmares when there is a lot going on in my life. I feel that many of those dreams are showing me that I feel overwhelmed and have no control over the things going on...
A recurrent dream I'll have is one of blackbirds dive bombing me. They "peck" at me while I am trying to swat them.
Their faces are of people I am battling with in some way. I've concluded that I've taken on too much in some way. It helps me back off and rest and decide what I need to do first...what is my first priority, etc..

This is a self-help saying that I try and follow;
"Choose your battles. Narrowing your focus conserves energy for the things that really matter."

Best wishes for more pleasant dreams!
Cap

VB,

I have dreams like that too. I think your line of thought that they are anxiety based is spot on. It seems to be like that for me when I am the most stressed, so that makes complete sense.

Something you can try is doing a short bit of meditation right before bed - in your head repeat a mantra such as "I will have good and peaceful dreams tonight" or "my dreams will be soothing" or something like this. Spend about fifteen minutes just relaxing yourself and thinking of good dreams.

It is likely that you DO have good dreams as well - but because they are likely not as jarring to your subconcious, you are not remembering them.

In this case too I would reccomend keeping a dream diary by your bed and writing down ALL details - even the ones that seem like they would not matter - like if you see a red pencil in your dream, it might not seem significant, but write everything down to the smallest detail. This can help train your brain to remember all of your dreams, and although yes you will remember the bad ones still, it may also help you work out where they are coming from.

Also, if you wake from a nightmare, after you finish writing down the dream, get up for ten minutes or so. Just do something - get a drink, watch ten minutes of television or read ten minutes of a book. This will help change your mind from focusing on the dream and may prevent you from falling asleep only to have a nightmare again.

(((((((( Everyone who replied to this ))))))))

Thanks very much for the advice

((((((((((((((((((((Vanilla Bean))))))))))))))))))

I have had nothing but nightmares lately...I don't remember the dreams, but I wake up scared and knowing that I had a nightmare. Blech.

They have started since things have gotten really intense in therapy. It's not a matter of slowing down the therapy - any time we started dealing with this stuff in any way, it would throw me for a loop.

My T said yesterday that because I am working so hard not to think about this stuff during the day, it's coming out in my subconscious. It's a difficult balance....he doesn't want me to have my life ruined by focusing on this bad stuff, but on the other hand, working so hard to push it away isn't helping either.

He suggested that I let myself spend some time before bed focusing on what I am upset about, maybe journalling. And THEN let it go and do some meditation on having good dreams.

I haven't tried it yet, but it does make sense.

Hope you feel better VB...

((((((((((treehouse))))))))))

Thank you

I'm sorry for your bad dreams....I agree with Rainbowzz....you should do meditation before sleeping and be consistant, do it every single nights....meditation is the only thing that makes me calm...I do have anxiety too...and I have bad dreams, but I do have good ones too!

Thank you, marjan

I have tried meditation before - perhaps it was a feeble attempt. My boyfriend suggested it when I was having trouble falling asleep. I could not clear my mind for the life of me. I got so frustrated, I wanted to rip my pillow to shreds with my teeth! Argh!

I have Asperger's syndrome and OCD (among others), and my mind is constantly going.

I'm going to have to try harder, I guess! I'll keep you all updated on my progress (hopefully, there will be some!).

oh got it....you do have OCD and Asperger's syndrome...those are the ones that causing you the main issue....
I'm coming to the point that I understand I do have OCD issue...I can't get rid of a thought when it comes to me....for weeks, months, years....I keep thinking about it....like this break up....I keep thinking about it...and if for a moment, I don't, then I bring it back to my head...even in the middle of the night when I'm so tired and wake up...I still think about it...it sounds crazy...before, I was thinking everybody is like that...but now I understand it's just me...crazy me...hehehehe....
However, this OCD helped me to be a very successful student with A marks all...and I'm good at my job too...because If there is an issue, I keep thinking about it till I find a solution!!! still sounds crazy....
but...when I do meditation, I feel clear...yes, it's so difficult to get to the point that you do the right meditation....it takes years of practise....but you got to do it...because you can do it....lots of others doing it, so, you can do it too...
I love meditation....it makes my brain quiet....I need it...I do it at lunch time...and I want to add to it...night time is so good to do the meditation....trust me...at the begining you think your head is exploding...but try try try...and do excercise, it helps a lot....breathing helps more than anything else....make sure to do the meditation with a right CD....
let me know if you need more info...

take care of yourself my friend
Marjan

yeah honestly i cant remember the last time i had a nice dream. or didnt dream at all. its hard i know.

I think I know what the issue might have been with your problems with meditation.

Meditation is not necessarily about ceasing thought and or clearing the mind - rather it starts with being able to sit with your thoughts and allow them to happen without latching on to one thought or another thought. You might not know this - in fact alot of people think meditation is about calming the mind, and it is - but the way to go about it is to recognize the thoughts, acknowledge them, but then let them go! Do not latch on to a thought and follow it and grasp at more ideas as to that thought. Let your mind be free, and think of your thoughts as a flowing river - they are constantly changing. This takes practise, and sometimes it is more difficult for some people than others.

Trying to stop thoughts is IMPOSSIBLE. We are always thinking about something - this is just the way our minds are made to work. So rather than clearing the thoughts, try this:

-Sit comfortably with your legs crossing one another, indian style.
-imagine a string coming from the center of the top of your head, and imagine if someone pulled that string straight up. This pulls you into proper posture. you may find this hard at first, investing in a good meditation pillow may help. If thats not for you or you have posture or back problems, or if you find it difficult and uncomfortable, then sit in a chair with your feet shoulder width apart and flat on the floor. In either position, place your hands so that they lay palms down on your thighs - should be almost at your knees and should look something like this:


This woman chooses to place her hands on her knees, and this is fine too, you can do either depending on what is most comfortable for you.

-Focus on your in breath. Notice that it is soft, and gentle, and you probably can barely feel it. If you cannot feel it enough to focus, use the out-breath until you get some practise. be "with" your breath - place your focus on the breath. If you have thoughts, that is ok! Let the thoughts happen, but don't grasp on to them or hold on to them. Just go back to focusing on your breath.

-start with 2 minutes. Do that for a week. Move on to 5 minutes. Do that for a week or two, or however long it takes for you to get comfortable with sitting that long. Some people take ages(took me years to get up to 30 min - not kidding! My brain is like yours very active) and some people can start right off on 30 min. DO NOT push yourself to sit there longer than you feel comfortable with.

-if you feel yourself getting to distracted, get up, stretch, get a glass of water, take a few breaths of fresh air out the front door. DO NOT do anything distracting, like television, radio, music, computer, ect. DO do things that are very natural and compassion based - give your spouse a hug, pet your animal.. do things that connect you with the world around you in a very positive and compassionate manner. And then, sit again and re-try.

It may take you a while to be able to do this - and that is ok! its not about rushing to be able to sit for six hours or 3 years like some of the tibetan monks. Everyone starts somewhere. Just bring your focus back to the breath.

Wow, Rainbowzz! Thank you SO much for your post.

I will try this tonight for sure. Horrible dreams last night and today I have been arguing with my boyfriend. Quite frankly, I kind of feel like I could explode

I really appreciate you taking the time to post all the great info and the photo! Thanks again

sweet heart...the key to meditation is that you don't give up....please keep doing it in a regular basis and you will get the result soon....
I have so much going on in my life these days and the only thing helps me is meditation....it's like a food for my brain...and each time I get better....you can start with ten minutes and then when you feel that relaxation....you want to meditate more and more....I usually meditate for 12 to 15 minutes each time....and try to meditate at least once or twice per day.....there are lots of kind of meditations.....the other one is imagining something good and say it in your brain....then start meditating by concentrating on your breath....then at the end of the meditation brings back that into your mind....for your case, probably, you should say....I will have good dreams....and meditate on that....
good luck
Marjan

Hello
If I may I would like to try and interpret your dream if so here it is...The airplane and car in your dream represent the anxiety and the out of control feeling that you have in your waking day. I don't think your bf is cheating on you it just feels like that because of the insecurity that you are also feeling while awake. (some guidance)You are in control of your mind, don't let your mind control you. Tell the images that you see in you mind, are not real and you cannot hurt me. Meditation is good and being kind to yourself treat yourself to something nice once and while I did. Also avoid caffeine at bedtime. Herbal teas are great and you can buy ones now that help calm you before bed. I wish you all the best

Thanks, scoobywho

I think I might book a day at a spa somewhere... lol... I definitely need some pampering!

Thank you so much, Marjan