[Zowee1]

Hi

Everyone tells me im gorgeous and pretty etc but i cant see it and i never have been able to!

Since having 4yrs of severe depression clinical and SIing (have been free since Oct '05) i still cant get over that im not pretty. I see myself as fat ugly and of no use to anyone.

Sorry but i had to speak, its getting me annoyed!!!!!!

Honey, I hear you! Hard when your mind don't follow the reality. You've got to learn to trust those telling you you're pretty! Not easy, I know! Your mind has been thinking like this for so long and it's became your way of seeing yourself. But have patience and don't give up!

Have you got a therapist right now, who you're talking about this with?

If you ever feel like venting more, my "ears" are open.

((((((((((((((((Zowee1)))))))))))))))

You ARE beautiful! (Seen your pics in the gallery)
The most important beauty is the one you're carrying inside you heart and mind! Try not to forget that.

[magickal1]

Hi Zowee,
I can relate to your post! Sometimes it's very hard to see ourselves the way others see us, but Ninni is right. We have to trust what we hear, even though we don't see it that way. ((((Zowee1)))

[(JD)]

I'm sorry you can't see your outward beauty... how are you doing with your inward beauty?

[Myzen]

Hi Zoe,

I think you have been very brave and strong to share your feelings with us. That is a part of you that the depression didn't get to.

I hope you know deep down that the depression is not our friend. It is just an illness and it makes us think things that are not true. By sharing with others who know about the illness we can fight it and get well again.

The job we have to do, is to stop listening to our depression. Mine tells me that I am a bad person, and no matter how kind and thoughtful I am to others, it still tells me that. The only way out, for me, is to stop listening to it altogether.

Like everyone else, I just want to be happy, I don't need to be perfect! I'm sure that you are nice looking, just as everyone says, and more important - you deserve some happiness.

Stay with us, Zoe, and I'm sure it'll help. We have all ages and backgrounds of people here and what we have in common is that we want to beat our illnesses and have some good times.

Nice to meet you,

M

[(JD)]

[PetulantWolf]

Awesome post Myzen.I should take your words and hangthem somewhere. Mayybe I will. I feel stupid all the time. I have a graduate degree, etc. but I just feel wrong about everything.Like everything I say is wrong. That I dont know anything. Dont trust my own judgement. I ask people for advice ordering from a menu. How sad is that..

[Hopefull]

I used to take forever in the grocery store. "Oh, will Cindy think I picked the wrong brand?" Yackity Yack.
I feel for you. I hope you find way to deal with your lack of confidence. (I know that is an understatement. But, I can't think how to put it into words.) I joke that I am the negative thinker from hell.

[(JD)]

I'm sorry you struggle with this. Just the other day a lady in the party supply store asked me about her buying the clearance dinosaur favors so far in advance (6 months) for her 2 1/2 year old! I felt her distress of doing the wrong thing. It's ok. We are allowed mistakes. But we are a resourceful people too, aren't we? Do the best you can for the time being... that's all you can do.

Telling yourself," ok, maybe I'm not totally happy with the outcome, I'll see if I can do better in the future." Might help you move on? TC!