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#1
Jun 26, 2006, 01:39 PM
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I was doodling on the weekend. Just scribbling while being on-line. Anyway, I had written "fat" a couple of times as well as "irritated" (which I was feeling). This morning I took a phone message for my husband and wrote it down, giving it to him.
He handed me the piece of paper this evening. My doodles were on the back. (I mean, good grief, how did I not see this?). All he said was that he was not impressed. I was speechless I felt so embarrassed. This was NOT something he was meant to see. I feel so vulnerable and exposed ... I feel betrayed because I betrayed myself! And I I still feel fat and irritated
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 Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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#2
Jun 26, 2006, 02:00 PM
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Oh Sabrina!
 How embarrrassing and hurtful! I doodle too but mostly pictures of flowers and caricature pictures of Mr Bear and I..... they make him laugh  I wasn't supposed to be online but found I missed it here and have things to say after all (was completely clogged up brainwise for a day or two  )(((((( Sabrina ))))))
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#3
Jun 26, 2006, 02:23 PM
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Thank you so much for peeping out of the cave and noticing this.
He asked me sometime after if I was hot, when I replied no, he mentioned that my cheeks were very flushed. Well ... it has been a few hours, along with some secretly shed tears, and the cheeks are still red. He did nothing wrong - but he saw something he shouldn't have .... ugh!!!!
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Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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#4
Jun 26, 2006, 05:26 PM
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How horrible! I've had stuff like that happen to me. Did your husband think you were upset with him? I didn't understand why he said he wasn't impressed. I don't know if your irritation was at him, but if not, you might feel better letting him know it wasn't meant towards him. In any case, you might tell him you were simply venting in your own way. You can be sure he has his way of venting, too.
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Maven If I had a dollar for every time I got distracted, I wish I had some ice cream. Equal Rights Are Not Special Rights  |
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#5
Jun 26, 2006, 07:18 PM
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I'm sorry that your husband isn't understanding in general... and doesn't seem to be very supportive. Why couldn't he have taken you in his arms and said some sweet nothing into your ear to counter your miserable self images?
 Nothing wrong with doodling!
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#6
Jun 27, 2006, 06:30 AM
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Hi Maven - no it wasn't him I was irritated with. He wasn't even home when I wrote that. He said he wasn't impressed because he sees it as a way of putting myself down and he doesn't want me to do that. But yes, the more I have thought about it, the more I see it as venting. That is exactly what I was doing. And I wasn't really putting myself down. I am fat - that is a fact and there is no hiding from it. My frustration at not losing the fat despite my efforts is what started me venting / doodling.
Sky, you know that saying "when hell freezes over ....". As I read your post I thought, oh yes, if only he had done that. If only. He has said that he 'doesn't mind' my size because he knows much of it is not my fault and that I am doing (trying) something about it, but on the other hand, he also acknowledged that if he didn't know and love me and saw me on the street, he would have looked the other way. And now I am off topic - I will continue to doodle and just make very sure I do not do something as silly as give him a message on the back of my doodling! Thanks for everyone's support.
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Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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#7
Jun 27, 2006, 07:53 PM
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Yah. Well, what good is "doodling" if you have to THINK about it? I mean, isn't the POINT of doodling? Letting your mind go and your hand follow? Forget about it... and doodle. Big deal. Hubby needs a hot shower.
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#8
Jun 28, 2006, 01:45 AM
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__________________
Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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#9
Jul 01, 2006, 12:16 AM
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Sorry that happened Sabrina. I'm also sorry you feel so low and irritated right now.
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#10
Jul 01, 2006, 07:32 AM
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I am SORRY Sabrina..... I personally know what you are feeling right now and so do many other wives / females..... why can't they see that we just need/want a kind word and daily hugs (touch) to be happy? - and yet we often receive not.
LoVe, Rhapsody - (((( hugs )))) |
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#11
Jul 01, 2006, 10:23 PM
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((((((((((( Sabrina )))))))))))))
I'm so sorry that happened. I hope you are back on even keel very soon. Hugs, Jan
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I still dream and I still hope, therefore I can take what comes today. Jan is in Lothlorien reading 'neath a mallorn tree. My avatar and signature were created for my use only and may not be copied or used by anyone else. |
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#12
Jul 03, 2006, 03:50 PM
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Desirae, Rhapsody and January ...... thank you, for reading and responding.
I am feeling ok ... for now ... no doubt thanks to the support I always receive here! Hugs to all!!!!!!!!!!!!
__________________
Crying isn't a sign of weakness. It's a sign of having tried too hard to be strong for too long. |
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