[odhiambo]

I have gone through allot the last year. I turned twenty four and got married and by the time I turned twenty five I was divorced.
I have in the last year had to truly find myself and a part of me feels like I just can not. I was told I compensate by having the new car, buying myself a house and just moving on. Everyone has also told me that you should be heart broken over the split, but how can you when he has moved on. Anyway yesterday I went to him for help with one of my classes and he was there with lets just call her M in the bedroom. I sat on the chair because M sister and another girl was there, and I did not want them thinking I am bitter, so I sat pretended to watch tv with them while in the background I heard the two of them laughing. I do not know why I do it to myself try an even have a friendship. I need advice is a I lack complete self esteem and feel i need him in my life.
b I am just to caring and try and believe he needs me in his life.
c I just hope for the best with everyone.
I left the situation feeling bad. I did not want him to feel awkward or myself so I just left. I really want to hear some one elses point of view maybe i just am to hard on myself and have to take the good days with the bad. please offer some advice.

How long has it been since the split? Has it been amicable?

Anyway, it seems quite clear from what you wrote that he has effectively moved on. It might thus be best for you to have a break from one another for a while. You need time to heal and you still seem vulnerable on this aspect. It is not easy to get over a break-up and i don't think it is healthy for you to put yourself in such situations where you feel left out/abandoned etc. Because the end result is that *you* will get hurt. And seeing him thus will be like sticking the knife in the wound. You don't need that.

Also, he seems to be quite rude if you went to him for help and he seems to have basically ignored you. You should move on as well, pick up the pieces and move on. It will take time to heal, but for your own good, try to have an identity and a life, apart from him...

[(JD)]

It's too bad that he has seemingly moved on so easily..perhaps not, but he displays that in some ways.

I would hope that you could find others to associate with.. and withdraw from the situation altogether... at least until you know what you think and feel about this.

Divorce means there's been a failure. Of course you feel "lost".. you invested a big part of yourself and your life into something that for whatever reason, has been thrown away. I'm sorry.

Yes, there is life after divorce. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off ...get away so you can decide if you want to move on with or without this guy. TC

[desirae]

If you feel uncomfortable maybe if you need his help then you can meet some place where there will be nobody around. I'm not sire how I would have reacted but I guarantee I would have been a little stunned myself.

I mean, even if he did know how you feel, could he blame you for feeling this way, you were married before.

I hope all works out for you.