[MrsDarcy]

& on one level, I really think it is..but,

I was taught from when I was a child, that my brown hair was disgusting. Especially from my blonde mother, who caused me to dye it several times during my early teens. Lately, I've met guys who go on & on about blondes, but never about brunettes either..so in a way, it reinforces my feelings of hatred against myself.

I noticed a few things in life also: I was always labeled as a tomboy, even though I was not masculine. I was always told to cut my hair, because long brown hair isn't popular, only blonde. Whenever I hear a guy go on about his gf/wife, if she's blonde, he will mention it..if he doesn't mention her hair color, she's a brunette. I've never been told I was a pretty, besides by other girls & 1 guy who said that blondes were the best, so I didn't even care for his comments.

I don't think my hair color is the only reason that I've never been asked on a date in my entire life (& I'm 22 btw & not even fat), but I think it is definitely 1 factor of it. Now, I'm obsessed with it. If I see a guy with a brunette, it is a good day. If I see only guys with blondes for most of the day, I get upset. So, pretty much every day lately for the past few months, I've been waking up very angry & getting upset with myself because I feel so inadequate.

I know that at some point, even if I manage to get a boyfriend, I have to deal with how I feel about myself. But I really do not see how I can feel good about myself, when practically everybody my entire life has told me that I wasn't good enough & still to this day, no guys even like me.

[sparkling]

Hi Darcy.... i'm sorry you feel this way... I don't think your hair color has anything to do with your popularity.... I believe it's all in your head, I mean you think you're ugly and you act like ugly.... I don't know if i'm making any sense.... But believe me - your hair color doesn't make you unattractive. I personally prefer dark hair in women as well as in men. Makes them less... um... trivial, common? (no offence to the blondes out there).
And if you don't like your brown hair so much, why don't you just dye it? Wouldn't it solve the problem?

Hugs,
sparkling

[MrsDarcy]

But see the thing is...I truly don't hate my hair, I like it..but I see that other people do not. Dying my hair would only make me fake & prove that I'm crap in a sense.

[Soidhonia]

Hello I hope things get better for you soon. I am a brunette as well, and I have the opposite problem, I cant get rid of the men. Perhaps you are just young and the right person has not come along yet. Men like brunettes as much as they do blondes, tryst me on that. Hopefully you will find somone that cares for you soon. take care sincerely Soidhonia

[(JD)]

Nah, hair color doesn't have much to do with it, once you have their attention, imo. If you can muster some good feelings about yourself, then they will pick up on that and want to meet you!

IMO it's important to be who you are first, before you go looking for someone to be with. Doing things in order always seems to help I think.

TC!

[FaithisAlive]

It isn't petty if it bothers you....but is might be a problem with a fairly easy solution...When you grow up being told only negative things about yourself,as an adult it seems to keep right on playing over and over in our minds...

all that stuff we were taught about ourselves... like a tape recorded message....and sometime or another, we have to figure out how to erase that tape and make a new one...

Until we learn to stop listening to all the lies we were told,we can't be free of the negative feelings about ourselves.Dr. Phil says we have to be our own best friend.. and the most important relationship we will ever have is with ourselves.I think this is true... think about it.

I'm sure you are a very pretty young lady... and if you seem to have hatred for yourself, others are gonna pick up on that and shy away... There is a fabulous book called "Beauty For Ashes"by Joyce Meyer. It's a Christian book and its so good... it has helped me and thousands of other people learn to love themselves... maybe it can help you too.

I hope you find a way to love who you are...Faith

i love brunette hair! i'm the only one in my family with it and i think it's great. i think long clean and shiny brunette hair is really pretty.......

try to get rid of the tapes that your mother installed in your head and buy some new ones. some that say "i love my hair" and then start working on other parts of yourself. this is not about hair color, really. it's about what MOM said.

besides, under almost every blonde in the whole entire world are DARK ROOTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxoxo pat p.s. and besides what do men really know???????????

[(JD)]

Right! Counter the negative talk with postive and it works faster that way!

can't hide my brunette hair it sure can be pretty

[Perna]

Individuals have individual preferences as well as "group" preferences. I love learning about differences from experience/learning from my husband. He once mentioned when we were first dating that he liked blonde hair and I felt a bit like you express, I can see how it would happen. He also says he "hates" jeans on women and that's all I wear, LOL. But I know myself well enough and know how comfortable I am in jeans and how well he loves me that it bothers me/doesn't bother me, if you know what I mean? I don't like my husband's smoking and he knows that but isn't going to give it up (along with other preferences/habits he has that he "likes"). I try not to take things personally. I studied sociology and had an interesting thing happen when I was shaving my legs and made a comment to my husband that "it's all you all's fault" :-) meaning "men" and their preferences. My husband was startled and didn't get it at all, how he or "men" had anything to do with it but he was on his way to the swimming pool with his youngest son and had his own experience of coming up to the side of the pool next to a European woman who hadn't shaved her legs :-) and he was horrified to realize it "mattered" to him, that he didn't like that she hadn't shaved her legs. LOL. But so what? We all have preferences like those, some we've "learned" and some that are just automatic cultural things and others that we have deliberately looked at and "prefer." Not everyone is going to have the same preference "set" and somewhere there's some nice guy who will look past your hair color. What do you "see" when you imagine your "ideal" guy? When I was a teen he was named "Michael" and had red hair and his eye color changed from day to day, I couldn't decide what color eyes I preferred But there's no such real person. I'm sure some real person will see the real person in you and then it won't matter to either of you what color your hair is?

i loved living in new mexico! NO shaving!!!!! and when you get to a certain age, you only have 4 hairs on one leg and 3 on the other anyway.......

it's what we have inside that matters, truly. we play the cards we're dealt.......xoxoxo pat

[Perna]

Pat, I hate to break it to you but the 3 hairs on each leg after a certain age? It's actually that we can't see well enough to see them all!!! LOL They're still there only since we can't see them we feel better about not shaving. I shave by "feel" now, if I'm too prickly to get to sleep easily, I use my trusty "Intuition" shaver in the shower.

I had really nice "brown" hair when I was young but now it's getting gray/white, especially under the sides. And the gray/white parts aren't like the rest of the hairs, they don't "behave" like I'm accustomed to their behaving :-) There are worse things than whatever we have, I'm learning that slowly but surely as I get older.

sorry, perna. i know how many leg hairs i have.......... i imagine that the jeans wearing has taken care of some of them.......

[(JD)]

you don't think Einstein looked that way on purpose do you??? The only ways I know of to tame those particular hairs is to 1) pull them out ..they're standing out anyway 2) put a color wash on your hair, it gives body and control and mutes the gray/white a bit

brunnet is a lovely color... and it is a matter of preference - some guys like blondes, some like brunnets and some like redheads..And luckly for us "girls" there are plenty of guys so no hair color is left out.

my haircolor is red... I think that sometimes we look at other people and think oh if I just had " " like them everything would be prefect. For me I sometimes thought Oh if I could have curly hair... mine is straight... but such is not the case.