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  #1  
Old Aug 31, 2014, 04:51 PM
Anonymous37914
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I know there's an argument out there that Facebook is harmful to self-esteem.
I just want to know if any of you have ever felt worse about yourselves after being on Facebook?
Personally, I'm thinking I might have to quit using the site for good. Most of my FB friends are beautiful, or at the very least they lie on the better-looking side of average. I'm the ugly one, and, well...I can only take seeing so many pictures of model-pretty girls and their hot boyfriends before I start to get kinda sad.
What about you?
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  #2  
Old Aug 31, 2014, 05:58 PM
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kaliope kaliope is offline
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I don't think you can blame it on facebook. I hardly use mine, I don't see the sense in it. my niece takes so many pictures of herself, and yes she is beautiful but it doesn't make me think any less of myself. my sister posts every detail about her life and I wonder what is the point. what matters is how facebook makes you feel and if using it makes you feel bad about yourself then you should stop using it. just as it frustrates me because I think it is pointless, I don't need that frustration in my life. so I rarely look at it. but it is how some people in my life contact me so I have to keep it. I just don't look at it unless I get messages. so stop using it and see if it makes you feel better. I am thinking it will take care of some of the problem but the real issue is embedded further. if you had healthy self esteem in the first place, looking at facebook wouldn't bother you. so work on your self esteem regardless. take care.
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  #3  
Old Sep 02, 2014, 02:18 PM
Anonymous425
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Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl View Post
I know there's an argument out there that Facebook is harmful to self-esteem.
I just want to know if any of you have ever felt worse about yourselves after being on Facebook?
Personally, I'm thinking I might have to quit using the site for good. Most of my FB friends are beautiful, or at the very least they lie on the better-looking side of average. I'm the ugly one, and, well...I can only take seeing so many pictures of model-pretty girls and their hot boyfriends before I start to get kinda sad.
What about you?
I get that. All of my friends on Facebook are pretty and talented and Facebook just shows it off. I want to delete my Facebook too because of insecurities but mine started when I got in a fight with an old friend from high school (not that long ago) on Facebook. She said horrible things about me (especially judging me based on the things I wrote on my wall without thinking) and now I just hide. I'm never on Facebook anymore because I usually end up comparing myself to others, like, that person is prettier than me or that person takes better pictures than me. They all just look good on Facebook, but they are not the same in person. At least I hope so. It has really made me question my true friendships in life. But I'm like you. I don't know whether to keep it or not. It's good and it's bad sometimes.
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  #4  
Old Sep 02, 2014, 09:13 PM
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jimmy rich jimmy rich is offline
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Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl View Post
What about you?
All of that would actually improve my self esteem! Beautiful people would only re-inforce my FEELINGS of being OK - just as I am and could NEVER make me feel ugly or inferior in any way.
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  #5  
Old Sep 04, 2014, 09:00 AM
SnailLover SnailLover is offline
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It ate my message but yes, facebook made me feel worse. It made me feel very lonely and invisible.
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  #6  
Old Sep 04, 2014, 06:32 PM
SteveJackson SteveJackson is offline
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For me it doesn't.. It's just that you should develop self confidence and your self esteem. Learn to accept and be contented for what you have
  #7  
Old Sep 04, 2014, 08:07 PM
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Jolisse Jolisse is offline
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Facebook doesn't affect my self esteem. I just get tired of people and their constant need to post about everything, I find it boring.
  #8  
Old Sep 04, 2014, 10:59 PM
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I feel like FB can affect my self-esteem depending on how I'm feeling that day, so it can be harmful to me. If it makes me feel bad, it's usually not because I feel others are more beautiful than me, but rather everyone seems to have a better/social life. I try to remind myself that the grass looks greener on the other side. What I see on FB may not be accurate. With your concern, try to remember that beauty fades. A physically beautiful person can be easily unattractive if they are ugly on the inside. A "less attractive" person can be one of the most beautiful people in the world because of who/how he/she is. There's always going to be people more or less attractive than you. Try to remember that and hopefully you can find a way to love and accept yourself the way you are, or improve yourself if you aren't happy. This is all easier said than done. Some days I'm up for the challenge and others, I'm not. Just remember that the suffering is temporary.
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  #9  
Old Sep 05, 2014, 08:55 AM
vans1974 vans1974 is offline
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No, but I stopped using it because I got tired of all the stupid stuff people kept posting.
  #10  
Old Sep 05, 2014, 09:04 AM
Anonymous37914
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Originally Posted by SteveJackson View Post
For me it doesn't.. It's just that you should develop self confidence and your self esteem. Learn to accept and be contented for what you have
That's nice and everything, but what if what you have just isn't adequate at all?
How could you learn to be happy with being always inadequate?
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  #11  
Old Sep 05, 2014, 09:07 AM
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Fuzzybear Fuzzybear is offline
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Who is "inadequate"? . (it's a construct, not a reality) Each flower is different, none are "inadequate".

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  #12  
Old Sep 07, 2014, 06:11 PM
Raghib Ahmed Raghib Ahmed is offline
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There's a load of articles and studies online that suggest Facebook is bad for those with low self-esteem. If anyone feels bad about themselves, then Facebook's just gonna amplify those feelings, making them feel worse.

I have felt worse from using it, but not because of self-esteem, but because I'd waste so much time on there. I could've spent that time bettering myself or working towards my goals.

You've got to ask yourself whether or not it's worth it to go on Facebook. Does it overall make you feel better or worse? If it's the latter, maybe deactivate it temporarily, so that you can take a break from the negative effects it's having on you.

Facebook makes us focus on other people's highlight reels, so getting away from that for some time might help you focus on more positive things instead. This could help a lot with confidence.

Good luck. And please please try to not be so hard on yourself. The negative voices in your head are telling you lies. You're not ugly or inadequate.
  #13  
Old Sep 07, 2014, 08:30 PM
Anonymous37914
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You've got to ask yourself whether or not it's worth it to go on Facebook. Does it overall make you feel better or worse? If it's the latter, maybe deactivate it temporarily, so that you can take a break from the negative effects it's having on you.
I've been seriously thinking about doing this. Only problem is that I have friends and family who live out of state, and Facebook is pretty much my only way of keeping in touch with them.
  #14  
Old Sep 12, 2014, 09:04 AM
bondgirl bondgirl is offline
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No, I'm glad for my friends that look good!
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  #15  
Old Sep 16, 2014, 12:00 AM
angelmomichelle angelmomichelle is offline
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If I shut off Facebook, it would cut off all contact to the outside world. It's the only social life I have. It's much easier to be happy on Facebook. Nobody Vann see how fat I am or how depressed or sad I may be. I can SEE the words BEFORE they "come out of my mouth"..... for me, I think fb is better for me.
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  #16  
Old Sep 19, 2014, 10:48 AM
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
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I love FB and it boosts my self-esteem because my old friends whom I have not seen in 20+ years as well as their friends whom I have never met, as well as some people I "met" on Facebook basically take an interest in my life, my stories, the photos I post of my cats, my crafts creations, and occasionally myself, as well as music I share. It is like a great, tight support network spread beneath me and covering a big part of the globe. Also, discussion groups are an outlet for wittiness, which sometimes is needed.

I think your issue is that you are passive on facebook and only read and view updates from friends. get into discussion groups and the like - be active and that would pay off.

I am in San Jose and I had one man from San Diego propose to me (!!!) based on our interactions in discussions of politics and culture and a couple of headshots that I have as profile pictures. It was the first time I received a marriage proposal from somebody I had not met in person. Obviously, I won't be taking it, but it was fun.
  #17  
Old Sep 19, 2014, 11:51 AM
Anonymous37914
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Originally Posted by hamster-bamster View Post
I think your issue is that you are passive on facebook and only read and view updates from friends. get into discussion groups and the like - be active and that would pay off.
No, I'm not really passive. I post and share a lot, I like and comment all the time on statuses and pics my friends post, I share stuff in different groups and the like. It's just that no one really cares about or takes any real interest in anything I share. But they do for all my friends, which only leads me to think that I am somehow inferior to them. Which is why the whole environment on FB is getting pretty depressing for me at this point.

Last edited by Anonymous37914; Sep 19, 2014 at 02:29 PM.
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  #18  
Old Sep 19, 2014, 12:01 PM
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
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Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl View Post
No, I'm not really passive. I post and share a lot, I like and comment all the time on statuses and pics my friends post, I share stuff in different groups and the like. It's just that no one really cares about or takes any real interest in anything I share. But they do for all my friends, which only leads me to think that I am somehow inferior to them. Which is why the whole environment on FB is getting pretty depressing for me at the point.
I see. Have you tried connecting with people you do not know in RL?
  #19  
Old Sep 19, 2014, 12:01 PM
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
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Also, it takes time to develop a following on FB, just as it does anywhere. It does not happen overnight.
  #20  
Old Sep 19, 2014, 02:36 PM
Anonymous37914
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I see. Have you tried connecting with people you do not know in RL?
Yes, I've tried. Social anxiety makes it especially hard. I was always an outcast in school and it seems like that 'outcast' label had followed me into RL. I don't know if it's because I'm overweight or what, but people just aren't interested in connecting with me or being my friend. Plus I live in a small town where there's really no designated place to go and meet people. I have about 60 friends on FB. The number of people I truly know is small and I make it a point not to add complete strangers.

Quote:
Originally Posted by hamster-bamster View Post
Also, it takes time to develop a following on FB, just as it does anywhere. It does not happen overnight.
I also realize this. Believe me, I don't expect to suddenly get popular.
But I have been on Facebook for over 4 years now, if that means anything.
  #21  
Old Sep 19, 2014, 03:10 PM
hurt&alone hurt&alone is offline
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Originally Posted by ShyPoetGirl View Post
I know there's an argument out there that Facebook is harmful to self-esteem.
I just want to know if any of you have ever felt worse about yourselves after being on Facebook?
Personally, I'm thinking I might have to quit using the site for good. Most of my FB friends are beautiful, or at the very least they lie on the better-looking side of average. I'm the ugly one, and, well...I can only take seeing so many pictures of model-pretty girls and their hot boyfriends before I start to get kinda sad.
What about you?
i truly agree being on facebook can really bother you when you feel bad about your self you may be alone and see all your fb friends out having fun getting married in reletionships out eating dressed up looking good it can really make you feel really bad bout your self i know i have tried to delete the app so many times but then i feel like i have no life let me see how great other people life is then i feel horrible about my self
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  #22  
Old Sep 19, 2014, 11:15 PM
hamster-bamster hamster-bamster is offline
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4 years is a lot. I have about 325 friends and I have been truly active since May 2014 only, but most of those friends are purely FB friends - we befriend each other after discussions, comments, likes, etc. I have not met those people.

Why don't you forget about FB for now and try Meetup?
  #23  
Old Sep 19, 2014, 11:35 PM
Anonymous37842
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Facebook wasn't a good fit for me so I completely deleted my account.

I immediately felt a weight lifted off of me when I did so.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who has found that they are better off without it in their lives.

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  #24  
Old Sep 20, 2014, 08:17 AM
Anonymous37914
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Why don't you forget about FB for now and try Meetup?
Hmm...never heard of Meetup. I'll try it, thanks!
Thanks for this!
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  #25  
Old Sep 20, 2014, 03:29 PM
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Alter Alter is offline
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Im not very social not even on Facebook, i use it to keep track of things, i liked pages that provide good information about things i like some humour pages unknown facts etc...
It also keeps me up to things people i know are doing, i have trust issues so its a good way to know a little more about persons you encounter in the outside world.

I also have found things through facebook that caused me some pain before that also happens.

About what you asked i think its true, for example you post a pic of yours and no one cares you get like 1 or 2 Likes from your friends while other people that are more "normal" get about 100 likes in 10 minutes, that does not mean they are cuter ou better than you they just are more active on facebook and post alot of trash. I see people making good posts on facebook interesting posts that no one cares, and then someone looking for a bit of attention posts things like "I know how to treat a Woman" or "Good girls love Bad boys" and they get tons of Likes and Comments.

Thats how it works, you can't be someone you're not and suddenly become popular so you either ignore it and stay in the shadows or you can leave the social network.
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