Feel like an absolute zero....

I have very little self-esteem about myself and my life. I feel very unaccomplished when I compare myself to my peers. I just don't know how to get out of this rut of self-pitty.

Hmm, you could start by making a list of some of the things that you have accomplished. You could also make a list of things that you would like to accomplish, and come up with steps for getting there.

If you're having a hard time coming up with ideas, try using some of the assessments here: http://www.authentichappiness.sas.upenn.edu/ The Values in Action Strengths Questionnaire might be a good place to start.

Rap

I try to compare myself only to myself; otherwise, I figure I'm comparing apples to oranges?

What would you like to do/think about/read/study or whatever? There's a good old book I like by Erich Fromm, To Have or To Be? http://www.amazon.com/Have-Be-Erich-...dp/0826417388/ which forever changed my thinking when it described how, in the "West" we have to pick pretty flowers but in the "East" they're content to just enjoy them. Wasn't that fast, straight, and direct an argument but made an impression on me such that now I almost feel guilty picking a dandelion or 4-leaf clover :-)

People do what they "want" and that you haven't wanted to get a PhD or be President of some company enough to work at it like someone else has doesn't have anything to do with your "worth." You don't have to "prove" yourself, you "are" like a flower. If you chose you could join the rat race and see how much money, how many cars and houses, etc. you could accumulate but why? Someone would always have more and others would have less. Play your own game. In theory, we're literally the only people in our lives; everyone else just has walk-on parts in our play :-)

Hi Pilatus -- Was there something particular that triggered this feeling like a zero for you?

I often find that some little thing has happened, or perhaps a series of little things in one day, and I blow it all of proportion.

I have a conversation with a student that I don't manage as nurturingly as I wish, I lock myself out of my car, a bill arrives that I've forgotten about and can't pay and suddenly, whammo, I'm feeling like zero -- Everyone else is the perfect teacher, no one else ever screws up and other people seem to be so much better rewarded for their work than I--but of course, who would pay a zero like me anyway?

Sometimes honestly I wind up laughing at myself -- after I figure out how I have built my trench of zeroness.

Othertimes, if I am a very serious depression, that is not enough of course. No laughter then.

Can you tell us more about why you feel this way?

Hi Everyone

Thank-you all for your heart felt support!

I am under alot of emotional stress and sadness due a traumatic event that happened to me last year that still has me rattled. I am getting counselling and on meds. I am on edge more than usual because I am weaning off of a med. .

I managed to get outside today and walk my dog.

((Pilatus)) getting outside and walking with your dog is proberby the most fundemental thing you can do today!! Always works wonders for me also!

Hello Pilatus. I hope things get better for you soon. Getting off of a med is hard. Take care of yourself Soidhonia

My hat's off to you -- I've tried to wean off effexor twice and I get all woozy and can hardly get out of my recliner.

Hope you are feeling better soon, Pilatus. Walking outdoors with your dog sounds lovely.

((((((((((Everyone))))))))))))))

I will work on getting outside everyday taking my dog for a long walk. I tried going down to 1/4 of my anti-anxiety tablet...had to go back to 1/2 tablet because I was SHAKING with anxiety in bed.

Keep checking in Pilatus. Keep going.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Pilatus said:
((((((Everyone))))))
I will work on getting outside everyday taking my dog for a long walk. I tried going down to 1/4 of my anti-anxiety tablet...had to go back to 1/2 tablet because I was SHAKING with anxiety in bed.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post"> be good to you Pilatus....walking your dog will help all involved...both Pil. and woofus need fresh air so we're glad to hear you're committing to trying every day.

our supportive thoughts and our dog nods in agreement about daily walks being better than being stuck inside w/ anxiety....we live that too.

remember a zero is also a circle which surronds friends so they can support each other

angie, that is so true and so very cool.......pilatus, we're one big circle here for you.......xoxoxo pat

((((((((((((( pilatus )))))))))))))