Asking whether you're pretty?

This is the One Question Women Ask Every Day | Quick-Fix: Mental Health Cartoons

I guess I don't get this kind of humor but does women ask themselves this EVERY DAY?? It sounds so horrid.

Also, do women only want to look pretty to attract males, do they never want to look a certain way out of self expression?

I feel like I come from another planet here.

The mirror is not my friend jimi, but when I am in a better frame of mind I do make more of an effort. That is in regards to hair clothes make up etc.. But I do it for myself, not for the benefit of men. I think women look at women more often than men look at women, if that makes sense. I think there is a a sub conscious level of competition between women. For me I admire some women for their style and the way they carry themselves. Don't we all want to feel good about ourselves? I am not saying getting a second look or a smile from a guy is not a good feeling, it is. Asking my self if I look pretty every day: I don't ask myself that, no..

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Not my idea of humor. I do not ever ask myself, Am I pretty today? However, a woman is aware of whether or not she is pretty, of course. Personally, I wear nice clean clothes, fix my hair, put on a bit of make up. But, I do it all for me. I am past caring what society thinks.

I'm just still so surprised. I mean, I feel good about myself when I accomplished something I really longed to do, I barely have mirrors. I look the way I do and the fundamental way I look, I cannot change how much I even try. I doubt I have ever given a stranger attention because how they looked.

Yea different planet like totally.

You don't act differently towards a person you are attracted to sexually? I think everyone acts a bit different when they are physically attracted to someone.

I'm not attracted to people that way and I find it disgusting if people look at me that way. Hope really they don't.

But really I didn't know this looking pretty was all about sex. I thought people somehow wanted something else, IDK, I'm dumb I guess.

No you are not dumb that way. I was referring to this comment
"I doubt I have ever given a stranger attention because how they looked."

I was just curious if you treat an attractive person differently.

I have long held the belief that women adhere to social standards of beauty not to win the admiration of men, but to stave off the relentless judgment of other women. It is our own sex that so readily picks apart a woman's flaws until they rest a gaping wound which no amount of makeup could cover. Beauty trends occur completely independent of the male opinion.
Rest assured there are those of us who could care less what either sex thinks, though I would be lying if I said their opinion didn't affect even the bravest souls slightly.

I don't think you're from a different planet, but probably part of the small majority. I'm a woman who doesn't think about her looks when she's out in public. I don't look at how pretty other woman look. I don't feel jealously towards other woman, and I say that with the utmost honesty. The way some other women act and treat other women is so far detached from my understanding that I'm almost scared of them. However, it's good to know that other women here don't care about their looks that much.

As far as I can tell, it's an underlying social "problem" in existence since there was such a thing as women. I'd like to think it's controllable by each woman, but since I don't deal with it myself, I don't really know if women can control it.

I used to care about my and others' attractiveness in my more hormonal days when I was an adolescent. It was because I was in school and surrounded by boys my own age, so I think you can figure out the rest there. This kind of leads on to some dark assumptions about women's interest in their looks though, so maybe it's for different reasons when they are older. Some ideas could be: are they feeling protective of their spouse? Do they want attention over other women from the opposite sex? My favorite theory is that women are avoiding bullying from women who do care about men's attraction to them, and manipulate it as a social power. I personally just put up with the bully women, and since I'm not affected by their "competition" because of the way I am, they eventually calm down. Oh yeah, I don't dress revealingly, and usually wear baggy clothes, to calm the beasts some women become, haha.

I can think of some instances that might bring light to this. There have been times women were outright angry and bullying me, a complete stranger, because a guy they liked were being friendly with me. Oh, god forbid (sarcasm) that he's a nice man to strange women. Even married women have treated me badly because a handsome guy they hang around was being nice to me. So, I think these women might see looks as the only thing that keeps the men they're interested in around them. The saddest part is that they're willing to pursue men who would only like them if they're pretty. Plus, I think a large percent of the population (not all of them), doesn't have strong moral values anyway.

Either way, it sounds really difficult to deal with, and I'm glad I don't. I don't know how much it affects some people, but I sincerely hope not much, especially since looks are basically the most worthless attributes someone can have, once you strip away its "social" power.

For me, when it comes to what I think about daily, the first things that come to mind is what I need to do, what I can accomplish, the daily things and issues that pop up, and people I care about.

Oh yeah, I should mention that I feel almost no attraction to the opposite sex, and not at all to women. I usually only feel sexual attraction if I've known a guy for a long time, as though my mind had to be comfortable with this person first to feel that way. I think it's called being demisexual, but I don't think much on it. Maybe this has an affect on the way I see looks. I'm not even that sexually attracted to my boyfriend (although I still am), and he's the only one I'm attracted to right now. It's just how I am. If he said he didn't like what I was wearing, then I would care.

I still like to dress cleanly though, but I don't see this as a way to look "pretty," but just more professional.

I would say it mattered when I was younger, not so much now (I'm 40s), I still like to look good for my husband but I'm not bothered what anyone else thinks. Much more important matters on my mind than my looks.

I'm pretty surprised at what this article suggests and can only assume that it's clouded by a self-perception that the author has; still, that she assumes it's applicable to everybody is a bit weird. I'm quite sure I grew out of that way of thinking when I was still a teenager, but then I've never been especially looks-oriented. I do attempt to ensure that I always appear attractive enough not to scare small children, but can't say as I really worry myself with it beyond that. It's just one of the many courtesies I perform for the public concern, maintaining a non-frightening appearance.

I don't really get it either. I get the cartoon, but the idea that people notice what I look like really freaks me out. I don't really notice these things on other people. Yes, some people are more visually appealing then others, but I don't think I notice the things other people do. Someone told me this week that the socks I wear all the time look ridiculous with my shoes. People notice socks?? I asked some other friends and they agreed that my socks looked stupid and assumed that I knew and just didn't care.

The door on the left. You could dress me up in the lasted fashion, do my hair and make-up, whatever, and I would still take the door on the left.
I don't get the cartoon or the article. I think the whole thing missed the mark on whatever point they were trying to make.
We all judge ourselves, and we all (admit it or not) judge others (to some degree) by their outward appearance.
I think we tend to judge too harshly and perhaps that's just human nature. A mechanism to be used to make ourselves do "better" or strive harder.
I don't know, maybe the only point was to make us question the whole idea of judgment.

Judgment is common because it's the easy way out. It's easier to judge others than to really hear or see them. Judgments allow us to frame our perceptions of others within our own narrative in creative ways. Really getting the other person is a more complex process. I certainly perceive others as attractive, and likewise appreciate when they perceive me in the same way, but it's far more based on what I get from them spiritually, and a thousand percent more meaningful when it's not overtly clouded by appearances.

I feel like being obsessive about appearance, worrying "do I look pretty" tends to become apparent in one's presentation, and can send a message to others that a person can be swayed and manipulated, being focused on surface reality in that way. I happen to have extremely vain parents, so I was brought up to think the same way; it was many years of work undoing that conditioning once I realized how troublesome it can be. How distractive.

I guess what I really didn't like about the article is how it's actually telling women "we all obsess about being pretty, it's how we are", which is messaging we already get plenty of through capitalistic intervention by way of fashion magazines and glorified objectification of celebrities with no other apparent talent but that of marketing their physical appearance. It's shortsighted and destructive messaging, in my opinion.

I completely relate to this, particularly spiritual attraction and really 'getting' other people. I'm glad you worked to overcome that early influence, good for you!

The last replies made me feel better, like it's not me who's crazy that didn't know "how all women are". Whew.