[S.Courage]

Well I've never seemed to have self-esteem issues in the past,but in the past year it's just been really bad.Im 20 years old and have no drivers license,because I have no desire to drive and I live in a small town where it isn't necessary,and no job.I had gotten accepted to college straight out of high school but the expenses were overwhelming even with all the financial aid so I decided not to attend.Ive been looking for work but like I mentioned I live in a small town where work is limited,plus I'm actually afraid of getting out there and having embarrassing panic attacks.When I went to high school I would often have them,and my teacher would let me step out but I highly doubt that would acceptable at a job.My friends,family,and even others have said really hurtful comments about me and my predicament such as I'm a loser who will always stay at home with my mom forever,or I'm such an embarrassment to the family and I know it's all true.I hate the way my life is playing out and no matter how hard I try to change it,I always seem to fail.I don't even feel I have any self-esteem anymore because I can honestly say I hate who I am and don't feel as though I can ever accept the person I am.

[Macavity]

Nathaniel Branden has some really good stuff on his site here for Self-Esteem: Sentence Completion I: Nathaniel Branden

Its somtimes just a combination of different factors that add up to lead to us feeling the way we do.

He says the six pillars of self-esteem are:

Self-Awareness
Self-Acceptance
Self-Responsibility
Self-Assertiveness
Integrity
Purpose

And how living abiding to those will really assist one and that there's easy ways to increase in each one and learn and uncover more about ourselves through doing "sentence stems". Write 4-5 endings of each sentence to complete them:

If I am more accepting of my anger…
If I deny and disown my anger…
If I am more accepting of my sexuality…
If I deny and disown my sexuality…

If I bring more awareness to my life today…
If I take more responsibility for my choices and actions today…
If pay more attention to how I deal with people today…

Self-responsibility means…
If I take 5 percent more responsibility for my life and well-being…
If I avoid responsibility for my life and well-being…
If I take 5 percent more responsibility for the attainment of my goals…
If I avoid responsibility for the attainment of my goals…

Are just some examples. His website is good though, check it out!

[Skeezyks]

Hello S.Courage: I'm sorry you are having such a difficult time. I grew up (many years ago now) in a small town (well... out in the country near a small town actually.) So I have some sense of the predicament you are in. Small towns have their advantages. But they can also be stifling... especially for a young person. And, also, the types of services one might find in a metropolitan area, such as mental health providers, can be extremely limited or non-existent.

I don't know that I have any particularly useful suggestions for you. I simply wanted to let you know that I read your post & wish you all the best as you struggle to find a pathway toward a happier future.

[EsteemedGuy]

Originally Posted by S.Courage

Well I've never seemed to have self-esteem issues in the past,but in the past year it's just been really bad.Im 20 years old and have no drivers license,because I have no desire to drive and I live in a small town where it isn't necessary,and no job.I had gotten accepted to college straight out of high school but the expenses were overwhelming even with all the financial aid so I decided not to attend.Ive been looking for work but like I mentioned I live in a small town where work is limited,plus I'm actually afraid of getting out there and having embarrassing panic attacks.When I went to high school I would often have them,and my teacher would let me step out but I highly doubt that would acceptable at a job.My friends,family,and even others have said really hurtful comments about me and my predicament such as I'm a loser who will always stay at home with my mom forever,or I'm such an embarrassment to the family and I know it's all true.I hate the way my life is playing out and no matter how hard I try to change it,I always seem to fail.I don't even feel I have any self-esteem anymore because I can honestly say I hate who I am and don't feel as though I can ever accept the person I am.

Hello S.Courage
Dealing with panic attacks can stand in your way in life. And having close friends and Family calling names ('' Loser") can hurt your spirit. Good news are you are aware you are dealing with low self esteem. So a good start is to work on Building your Self esteem and Self Confident in all the Self Esteem area of you life : career, family, Social life, Relationships, spirituality, ... and read books on Panic Attacks.
Take charge of your Life. I suggest this book "The Charge" by Brendon Burchad.

[Twistedfate22]

I think you are focusing on our worlds standards of achievement and self worth and it's leaving you feeling bad. It's so hard because our culture says we have to have a stable job, make decent money, get married , have kids, Blah blah blah. But that's not what matters imo. People kill themselves trying to reach these goals our society says are important. What's important is just finding a way to be happy and being yourself. So being happy means different things to different people. It doesn't mean college for everyone. Or making a lot of money in a flashy job. Just find your own way and know that's what's important in life, not satisfying what everyone else says you should be doing. So decide what you really want and do that. people who think you are a loser because they have their own place or a degree or whatever are just not understanding that life is about different paths for different people and it's okay to go a bit slower than others in finding your way. They just make themselves feel good by comparing and feeling "better" than others when all that matters is that we are finding our unique ways in life.