[ChristenTheNight]

I don't understand, but I feel so empty, and worthless. I am so desperate for attention. I feel like a burden to my family... like I don't belong. My step-father and mother just had a baby, and it feels like I shouldn't be here anymore.

I want love. I want attention. But I'm just not good enough. I'm fat, and ugly, and I never do anything right. No matter how hard I try to feel needed, like I accomplished something, something happens to get rid of it.

[Wants2Fly]

Welcome to Psych Central, Christen. So sorry that you are feeling this way. It's a rotten place to be.

Because you posted in the steps to better self-esteem forum, I'm wondering if you are willing to get to take some steps to work on yourself. A book that helped me when I was at a very low place, and very isolated, was Dr. Clayton E. Tucker-Ladd's book, Psychological Self-Help. It is available free online at http://www.psychologicalselfhelp.org/ and sometimes Dr. Tucker-Ladd posts in the Self-Help forum.

It is full of great approaches and the wise advice that if the first steps one tries don't work, one must keep on going and try other approaches. It also suggests not working on everything we want to change at once, but focusing on manageable goals.

I am glad you are here, and I hope you will find encouragement, ideas, and support that helps.

[TryingToCope]

Hi Christen. Welcome. I'm sorry you are feeling so bad. Please know that we are all here for you. Continue to post.

[Christina86]

((((((((ChristenTheNight))))))))))))))

Welcome to PC.

I think I can understand (somewhat) about how you're feeling ... if it's any consolation, you have attention here, now from some people. Not a replacement for attention from family - the people who should love you unconditionally though (my opinion anyways).

I can safely tell you that you are not worthless, and that you are not a burden. I can understand why you'd feel like that though, because I struggle with those two feelings an awful lot. It's not true though, those 'voices' and feelings are trying to hurt you but they are not the truth.

Everyone deserves love and attention, I'm sorry you're not getting it from your family. It is hard to search for it elsewhere too...

Please continue to post, and I'm sorry if my reply seems harsh ... I just want you to know that you are quite a worthwhile human being.

Welcome to PC - talk to us, we'll listen and try to help.

Hi, welcome to Psych Central.

You've come to a very good place for a lot of support. There are tons of caring people here. You've had some good suggestions up above.

We're here to listen. Pat

[(JD)]

((((hugs)))) I think it's great that your folks feel you are mature enough to be taking care of yourself right now while they attend to the new baby, who needs everything done for him/her. It's common to feel -and be- left out at this time, but I'm sorry you are experiencing it.

I hope you can side up to a parent, or both, and tell them you feel left out...and unloved.



So share here with us at PC, and let's get you feeling better about who you are. You are no less a person just because someone else is receiving love too. (((hugs)))

PS It's also common to not draw a lot of replies when you post on a weekend IDK why that is exactly. TC

[MHC1]

I think that this might be hard to take in at the moment, but very necessary that you at least try to do so:

The best way to feel VERY needed and appreciated at this time is to also love that baby. To offer your help where you can. I am not suggesting you be a doormat for anyone, but to honestly and lovingly see the new baby as a special gift from above and to share in this new joy. No parent can resist another human being who also sees their baby in a loving way. In addition, you will be seen more as an equal and more loving, kind, mature and giving.

In addition, this is the time to take special care of your own personal needs. Almost all, if not all, females n go through periods of time when they feel "fat" or "ugly." It's human nature. When under stress or when things aren't going right...well it happens.

What you need is a friend (I can do that) to tell you to pick yourself and hit the beauty parlor or something similar. Yes, I know this sounds simplistic. Sometimes answers start in the strangest places. If you are younger than 18, ask your mom if you can get your hair done, buy a new item of clothing, get your nails done.....Then walk around the block, etc. If you are overweight, look into the WEight Watchers program. There's also a book by author Bob Greene called "your Best Life Diet." You can probably get this at the library. It's filled with information that has helped many people lose weight.

Especially if you are close to your mom, I would let her know that you miss her companionship and don't want to be left out of her life now that the baby is here. But keep in mind, that this is also an opportunity for you to grow closer to your parents by showing your love for the baby and offering to help when you are able. Maybe you can babysit and use the extra money to buy some wonderful items for yourself!!!!! I would quietly or with your mom's help...start a beauty and weight loss program. In addition, think about any other areas of personal development you might want to work on. What about hobbies? Do you need to make improvements with any of your school subjects? Don't concentrate on this difficulty at home. Instead, make your folks see you as the wonderful, capable person that you are and have always been.