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Junior Member
Member Since Feb 2009
Location: Philippines
Posts: 17
15 |
#1
I scored a 100 on the Sanity Test's Self-Esteem section. I keep thinking that If I persistently thought about it hard enough, wish for it long enough, that I would get a new person as myself. I'm not talking here about changing or improving who I am. I keep imagining and fantazising that I am someone else... someone I made-up inside my head, that of a fictional man's entire world as my own. I've built, augmented, polished his personal qualities (personality, character, virtues, temperament, dispostion, etc.), life-situations, environmental-setting bit by bit, over the years, that presently, I have sort of a running personally-tailored, self-gratifying movie in my head.
My mind flips on the switch of the mental projector against the inner wall of my head, and I see and feel how immensely happy I could be if that was indeed my reality. For numerous personal reasons, I feel that I don't deserve to be confident or self-secure. Am I being dellusional here in my habitual fantazising? Is this Psychosis? Escapism? Or am I just a hopeless, hapless daydreamer? __________________ Some are born to sweet delight, some are born to endless night. ~ William Blake Last edited by Anthony23; Feb 19, 2009 at 05:48 PM.. |
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Member
Member Since Feb 2009
Location: London UK
Posts: 217
15 |
#2
Anthony23,
Who would you like to be and what is stopping you from emulating that person? Act as if. Act as if you are the kind of person you want to be until you are. There is nothing wrong with daydreaming and fantasising, and if it comes down to your mental and physical health, I say Be it! You are the writer and the producer of your own life. |
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beutifulxdreamr
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Grand Magnate
Member Since Jan 2009
Posts: 3,982
15 127 hugs
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#3
Do you have concerns, Anthony, about actually acting out this dream? A grain of salt as you go toward the dream: go one step at a time.
I think for DID people this type of advice may be sage because of the tendancy to create alters. You probably are not DID so, no problem. Sometimes people tell DID people to help themselves to re-invent themself. While this may be good for some, for DIDers this is just more of what they already do. Just something to consider for the DID readers of this thread. For years, in employment searches, I was told I am a 'renaissance woman' as a positive. Well, that's nice if you really are, but me, I just dissociated and even split in order to cope. Well, something to consider, as I mentioned. All the best as you explore your wonder future! Ice PS If this is not for you, please just disregard. __________________ “Science without religion is lame. Religion without science is blind.” Albert Einstein |
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Junior Member
Member Since Feb 2009
Location: Philippines
Posts: 17
15 |
#4
I'm sorry to say that I think I failed to articulate precisely what I mean.
I'm saying I want to be 'Person X' (a completely fictional person), not BE LIKE 'Person X'. And that is utterly unattainable because I can't chose when I was born, where I was placed, and who my family members are going to be. I know it's a useless, pointless, fruitless practice. But I am fixated in that world, even if it's unrealistic. So, again, what is that? More input, please. Thanks. Oh, and what is 'DID'? __________________ Some are born to sweet delight, some are born to endless night. ~ William Blake |
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Poohbah
Member Since Aug 2006
Location: Scotland
Posts: 1,133
17 1 hugs
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#5
Quote:
I'm not sure if I can give any advice on how to stop if it's bothering you - I kind of just grew out of it to an extent after I started university and found friends. I still catch myself thinking about it sometimes, but hardly ever any more. Sorry I can't be more help, but good luck! (By the way, DID is Dissociative Identity Disorder - there are various articles about it on this site, as well as a forum nearer the top of the list. ) __________________ Her name is Rio, and she dances on the sand... |
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