HELP Does anyone do this? I feel so sick in the head?

Okay this is hard to post now.....but I have been here long enough and comfortable and reading what others are posting I figured I would jump out there.
Since being sexually abused I have A LOT of sexual problems. YES I do talk to my T about them, it is hard but I do.
My hardest thing is......... I am female and when I am around men I look at them and wonder what they look like without clothes...sick huh? no matter the age I do it......wonder what it would be like to have sex with them....ugh cant stop these feelings....T says it is because I was introduced to sex at such a young age and that men and sex went together and I learned nothing else....but that does not make the feelings go away.....
I went to a meeting the other day with my hubby and the speakers were up front talking and some were nice looking and I could not focus on what they were talking about I was thinking dirty things...........I am SICK............any help here..........anyone else do this....I need to just know I am not alone...........please tell me I am not

Hope you are not alone....... I was introduced to sex at a young age. I sometimes find myself looking at men and wondering what it would be like or what they look like naked. I dont do it with all men. Most of the time I can control it. It is hard, I know. You feel dirty for thinking this way, right? I know that I do. I am completely satisfied with my husband and I love him with all of my heart. I do understand the way you feel

ATTENTION ALL- this will not be easy to contemplate for some who've been ABUSED-

Hope- I have a mind that torments me with what I call pop-ups - like in the computer- and I have no firewall against them. Due to RA and sadisticRA- I have been triggered by the sight and sounds of domestic animals even. YES you feel dirty and I have wondered at why ppl cant seem to see it when they look at me- how can it not show ? But it doesn't- Im not dirty and niether are you. Children robbed of thier inherent innocence and perversly "rewarded " for thier curiosity become precosious at whatever talent is exploitable for survival. (That includes dissociation itself, of course.)
U R NOT ALONE

I wonder sometimes too what ordinary, every day men look like without clothes sometimes i find it funny more than dirty though, especially in places like supermarkets and schools because it is so out of place.

Kath
You describe it to a T saying it like a computer with Popups.....that is it exactly....you cannot control them....UGH hate them so much......I feel so dirty......but do not feel so alone anymore it does help to know there is others out there that do the same thing. Even though it is sick it is just reassuring to know others do it too.
Thanks you two for being brave to tell me I am not alone. It means so much....and does help
I just wish someone could create a firewall for our minds against this crap....

Hope, I wonder if the firewall you need to build can be built as follows: Look at the pop up carefully, notice the details, what are you feeling, seeing, hearing, smelling? Think it through, so what does the guy look like naked? And see it and THEN let the pop up go down. Okay so this good looking guy probably looks like so and let yourself see it and let it pass. Does this make sense?

wow-
see i was Older when we wrote this but it is right. I am glad it was the right thing to say.