The rejection never ends : (

I wanted to share this with you guys. I was talking to my father via IM today. I asked him if he was going to miss me and, well, this is the reply I got.

Jackandjen92300 [2:51 PM]: R U gonna miss me?
Dillon7300 [2:52 PM]: i don't know
Jackandjen92300 [2:52 PM]: u dont know
Dillon7300 [2:52 PM]: r u gonna miss me you dumb ***

I can go months without talking to my father and then the day comes where I feel ok to talk to him and then I get this. This is so typical. I am just....I should be used to this

(((((((((((((( jen ))))))))))))))))

no wonder you feel hurt - it hurts so much to be called names, especially 'dumbass' by your own father . I'm so sorry that he was so negative towards you.

(((((((((((jen))))))))))))))))

You have an honored place here at psychcentral where your always accepted by us. So sorry for your father's hurtful words.

(((((((Jen))))))

You have had such a difficult time lately. Sigh.

I wish you peace. You are in good hands here...people really care about you.

Take care of yourself,

Petunia

Grrrrr I am sorry your father was so mean and hurtful ((((((((((((((((((((Jen))))))))))))))))))))))

Take care of you,
Fuzzy

((((((((jmo)))))))))

I am sorry about your conversation with your dad. Mine is mean to me too. I know how much it hurts.

Jen,

I'm so sorry your dad hurt you-- I wonder if he's like my dad was, in that, whenever I would bring up emotions or feelings, my dad would react in hurtful and negative ways.
It was " ridicules" to talk about feelings --- to him.

Perhaps that's how your dad is? Not that he doesn't care-- just that some people don't want to go to the " soft " side. Just an idea--- I could be way off.

However, if someone hurts you-- Jen, I'm absolutely sure it's their problem, as you certainly don't warrant any such treatment!! t/c

Mandy

i sure hope you ended the conversation with that, jen.....you do not deserve that kind of treatment from your father, or anyone else....xoxo pat

Thank you.

I did end the conversation after that. I told him I had to make a phone call. This is just so typical for him. I should be used to this by now. I was always dumbass, loser, good for nothing or something to that effect.

Maybe I am good for nothing. Thats how I feel anyway.

(((((((((((((((((((jmo)))))))))))))))) Im sorry you are hurting

((((((((((Wantto)))))))))

From "oh so personal experience", I have learned that a blood connection does not make anyone a nice person....Perhaps you should consider the possibility that despite having reproduced an exceptional Human Being....(that's YOU!)......your father is nonetheless a less than exceptional person....At any rate...don't let him bring you down....If he can't be a supportive and decent father, well, then at least he did ONE thing right when he assisted in your creation.....

(((((((((((Jen)))))))))) that was such a horrible thing for him to say.

Jen, I too am sorry for his rejection and unkind words. Remember that our families are those we choose to be with us and create strong bonds with. It is a long grieving to grieve for never having been loved or valued the way you wished. You are strong and good.

jmo531,

I read this post with caution..... I am facing something similar. I want you know that you i feel for ya.....
No matter what he says you are a wonderful person.
It is hard to believe it , i know. I grew up being told I was worthless and that I would never amount to anything, amoung other things....

Please don't believe what he says..... You are worth something in my book!!!

Hi Jen,

Like your other friends here, I felt that.

Good thoughts, Myzen

I'm sorry too, Jen. His response to you was totally unacceptable. Have you tried to detach yourself from him??? It seems a good idea to me?
Loving thoughts,
Seeker

((((Jen))))

Jen, I know exactly what you are going through! And, I hope you are able to deal with your own emotions, even though you have a 'demon' to cope with.
When I was a young kid, my father turned to me once and said "I wish to hell I would have never had you"! You know, that will end up comming back to haunt you someday. Find help now, and deal with it in the present before you get older and end up with a closet full of trash that comes back to haunt you!

Sincerely,

SongBird

I suppose I am a glutten for punishment. He was my abuser, but he is my father. I hate him. I love him. Just when I think I can put my foot down and walk away, I go running back. I know he doesnt love me, but I wish he did.

I know it must be so complicated. I would wonder if you could try a contract with yourself for 3 months of no contact and acceptance of the harm he caused you. Journaling, therapy, confiding in loved ones. Bring the secret out. It is not your shame it is his. If you can succeed in the contract for three months try three more and this time write him about all of the hurtful things he did and hold it and look at it and know it. You can rip it up or mail it. It's up to you. You do not need his kind of "love" you need to feel safe and respected and appreciated. Good luck dear one.

Oh dear {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{[jmo531}}}}}}}}}}}} We care about you here!

I taste your tears
I see your fears
I want to hear
If only I was near
To how you feel.....

Thank you

(((((((((((((( JMO ))))))))))))))))) Does he drink or ? that was so mean I am so sorry he said that to you and gave you that message all these years....I just don't know what to say.....except I care and am a PM away

Jen...I am just catching up on the forum after being gone so long...and I found this one from you...I am so sorry you were treated like that by your own father.....you deserve so much better.....your a nice person to be around and a GREAT friend to get to know....it is his loss to treat you like that....
much love and take care
Hope

Goodness, I just now came upon this entry. I am soooo sorry, Jen. I just got finished posting about how awful my mother is to me. I can seriously feel your pain... I know how awful it is. You love them and hate them at the same time. It's not easy to just walk away because they are a parent.... someone who is supposed to CARE instead of hate. We both have to believe that it is them with the problem, and that we are not deserving of this terrible treatment. Please PM me if you need to. Take care.

xoxo~Jen