[Typo]

(put a trigger icon just incase)

I've been thinking on forgiveness, why it's such a huge topic in the healing process and I keep thinking to myself "how can I ever forgive him, what he did was unforgiveable, one of the worst acts on the face of the earth"

And then it hit me

I don't have to forgive him, I don't have to forgive what he did to me, but I can forgive myself,

I can forgive myself for blaming myself, it wasn't my fault, it never was, I was a child, I was a vitcim, and now I"m a survior, there was no fault of mine, I was taken advantage of, I was betrayed, I was hurt by someone that was suppose to care for me, protect me, be my family, no fault was on me, I can forgive myself for blaming myself all these years

I can forgive myself for believing his lies, when you are 4, 5, 6 years old you always believe your elders, but as you get older you can realize what they said isn't always true, and in this case abuser's words NEVER had any truth to them. I am NOT dirty, I am NOT a *****, I am NOT unloveable, and NEVER did I ask for him to do what he did to me.

I can forgive myself for keeping silence, for not remembering details, for denying my experince, it is what I had to do until I reached a point in my life where I could safely deal with these things, I had to survive, and I did what I had to, to survive. I can forgive myself for being angry with myself for not remember vivid details, one's memory fades with time, and remembering what I do remember is horror enough, why bring forth more? I kept silence because I didn't know I had a voice, I kept silence because I thought that was the right thing today, I can forgive myself for being angry with me that I didn't have knowledge of my voice, because I know now that I do.

I can forgive myself, for hating myself for all these years, because I"m learning to love myself, to accept what happend, to stop denying the abuse

I don't have to ever forgive him, he has no worth to be forgiven, I don't have to fogive what he did, what he did to me was unforgivable, he is not worth my sympathy, my compassion, he is not worth my thoughts, he is not deserving of the word "uncle" because he never was and never will be family of mine

But I can forgive me, I can forgive my self hate and fear,

And I can heal, and that is what I plan on doing...

[purple_fins]

before I read more than the first sentence I thought-- "the best healing is forgiving yourself"-- and then I read on..... that's exactly what you aspire to do. Wow!

YES!! I agree, agree, agree!!

Working on forgiving yourself is HUGE!(IMO)

best to you on your journey.

fins

Originally Posted by Typo

(put a trigger icon just incase)

I've been thinking on forgiveness, why it's such a huge topic in the healing process and I keep thinking to myself "how can I ever forgive him, what he did was unforgiveable, one of the worst acts on the face of the earth"

And then it hit me

I don't have to forgive him, I don't have to forgive what he did to me, but I can forgive myself,

I can forgive myself for blaming myself, it wasn't my fault, it never was, I was a child, I was a vitcim, and now I"m a survior, there was no fault of mine, I was taken advantage of, I was betrayed, I was hurt by someone that was suppose to care for me, protect me, be my family, no fault was on me, I can forgive myself for blaming myself all these years

I can forgive myself for believing his lies, when you are 4, 5, 6 years old you always believe your elders, but as you get older you can realize what they said isn't always true, and in this case abuser's words NEVER had any truth to them. I am NOT dirty, I am NOT a *****, I am NOT unloveable, and NEVER did I ask for him to do what he did to me.

I can forgive myself for keeping silence, for not remembering details, for denying my experince, it is what I had to do until I reached a point in my life where I could safely deal with these things, I had to survive, and I did what I had to, to survive. I can forgive myself for being angry with myself for not remember vivid details, one's memory fades with time, and remembering what I do remember is horror enough, why bring forth more? I kept silence because I didn't know I had a voice, I kept silence because I thought that was the right thing today, I can forgive myself for being angry with me that I didn't have knowledge of my voice, because I know now that I do.

I can forgive myself, for hating myself for all these years, because I"m learning to love myself, to accept what happend, to stop denying the abuse

I don't have to ever forgive him, he has no worth to be forgiven, I don't have to fogive what he did, what he did to me was unforgivable, he is not worth my sympathy, my compassion, he is not worth my thoughts, he is not deserving of the word "uncle" because he never was and never will be family of mine

But I can forgive me, I can forgive my self hate and fear,

And I can heal, and that is what I plan on doing...

Very very true.....

[Sannah]

Wow, very good Typo!!!

[REEG]

Typo, thank you, just what I needed to hear today...

[Typo]

REEg I am glad that by sharing my journey to heal it is helping others too

I think it's something well need to hear, read, see from time to time, if I didn't live at home I would print this out and put it where I would see it everyday, maybe when I move out

Self love is one of the hardest things I'm learning to do, I just keep reminding myself I can't fully care and love others until I love myself first,

Sending many peaceful thoughts to you all, my nest is open to anyone anytime, I check my pm's daily if anyone ever needs to talk

[SophiaG]

Yay typo!

You are not forgiving for his sake but yours. It is not he who is kept up awake by this at night, you are. It is not he who was traumatized, you were. IT was not him who cried himself to sleep, not him who developed PTSD, not him who had flashbacks, not him who struggled in school....no typo, it was you.

Forgive for your own sake and it seems like you are. *hug*

[granite1]

wow this is amazing and i think it is awsome that this is the path you have chosen.no you dont have to forgive someone else but forgiving youself just sounds so awsome and good for you

[blameme]

You are a strong person!!!! I think forgiveness is something that many of us struggle with daily. You truly are an inspiration!!!!

[lynn P.]

EXCELLENT - keep up the good work ((((Typo))).

Fantastic Typo!!! Yes, we continue the abuse of our own selves so long as we hold onto the blame of all of it and name it our own---the only way out is to go through...(someone else said)--then to forgive yourself, stop the shame, the guilt,
the self hate--then we can love ourselves again...no, we don't have to forgive them--we are the ones who need our own forgiveness to heal -Thanks (((Typo)))

[h1e9i6d3i]

Typo:

To find love in our hearts to love ourselves and forgive ourselves is the most difficult position to put ourselves in. I'm still grappling with "it."

How can I forgive myself? How do you just do it? I'm trying to find the strength myself. It is comforting to know that women are out in the world capable of surviving, living, loving, forgiving, and having faith in themselves and in this big, bad, scary world we call home.

You give me hope.

[Skully]

"I don't have to forgive him, I don't have to forgive what he did to me, but I can forgive myself,"

very well said!!! In the end YOU are all that matters. I have a hard time when it comes to forgiveness and sometimes it just isn't deserved. But in some cases it is necessary in order to move on and heal.

[sociallyawkward1037]

Thankyou so much for this. It's exactly what I need to hear and do. You really are an insperation and I hope you are doing well on your journy to forgiveness