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He keeps on crying and crying for me to go back.

So confusing.

nightdream

not sure about what's going on...but it sounds rough on you. take care.

-shadow

Take care of YOU nightdream. You're important too.

Thinking of you and hoping you stay safe.

nightdream, if you focus on what you need and what you want your path will become cleat. Just think about what is best for you at all times. Good luck sweetie.

The problem is it is hard for me to think about myself, what I need and what I want. It is hard for me to accept that to get to this point I have to hurt someone.

I know this person has hurt me so badly in different ways so why do I feel so guilty? Why do I feel I'm doing something wrong? Why do I feel it is me who is hurting him? Why do I feel like trash?

So mixed up!
nightdream

Thank you for replying! Thank you for your kindness!

You have been programed to feel this way. Please speak with the people at Domestic violence shelters. They can help. Set up small goals of good healthy things you can do for you every day. Even if it's a long shower. You are worth taking care of.

i posted in creative corner...it's a poem that i wrote about a situation similar to what you're going through. i knew a friend and i hated her perpetrator but i couldn't hate mine...maybe it will help.

-shadow

Thank you all for your support and understanding!

nightdream (Going in hiding again)

uh, maybe this is a bad idea- but i know it worked/s for me. try pretending you're someone else that you do care about (a friend or family member or a kid or something) that you wouldn't want to go back and it helps sometimes. :P

(((((((((((((((((( nightdream ))))))))))))))))))))))

Although you say you hate hurting people, I believe that if you go back to him, you'll end up being hurt yourself in the long run. You found it hard to leave him and you finally summoned up the courage to do so... which is a great step . If you went back, it would be a way of just giving in to him, and letting him abuse you again. You're stronger than that, you got out in the first place, and going back would let him win... would give him power over you, which is what he wants. All this is my opinion, of course. Like the others, I think you should do what is best for you, and from what I can see, going back to an abusive relationship is the worst thing you could choose. Whatever you decide to do, I hope you find peace.

(((((((nightdream)))))))

I think I may have some clue what you are going through. I have just left my long time boyfriend because he was abusive. He is also crying and crying for me to come back.

One thing that may help you is if you attend a group at your local womens shelter. This has helped me a lot.

Let us know how you are doing. We care.