[Lexicon78]

I live everyday remembering that i'm a victim of abuse. I always get a flash of something each day...either an image, feeling, smell, or something. It's not an intentional thing that I do, it just happens.

So how am I supposed to get past all the abuse if it keeps bombarding me in this way? I want to get over it, but I just can't! I'm sick of the flashbacks.

Hi Lex,
I don't know. I guess forgiveness for you being the victim and whoever was the abuser for abusing you would be a good start but that's not always easy.
Those flashbacks can cause a lot of hate especially if nobody was there to pull you out and away from it. That can be scarey.
I know because I feel that way sometimes.
Anyway, next time you get one of those flash backs try to imagine yourself as an adult today hugging yourself as you were back then.
Try to imagine everyone here on this website who truely cares about what you're going through being there and protecting you and hugging you telling you that you don't deserve this and there's a better life, you do deserve for yourself to embrace. Allow us to hug you if you think that's okay and just let that warmth override those bad feelings.
I hope that helps. ((((((((((In Lex's flashbacks)))))))) Big fat ones too. Not little whimpy ones. I mean that.

[jennie]

Maybe some of your flashbacks were triggered by something. Maybe you need to identify those triggers?

What do you think?

[Hope4me2]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{Lex}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I know how your feeling....I get flashes of memories alot lately and it creates so much anxiety for me....ugh...cannot understand all of this either
take care and know your not alone

[CJR520]

I think the past haunts us so that we don't make the same mistakes with our children and grandchildren. I have the same problem. When my son and his wife harrass the 8 year old, it comes back. I understand!!

[SS8282]

How long has it been? If it was recent, you need to give yourself time.

One thing that might help, is whenever you get a flashback, tell yourself that it is not happening now. The more you do this, the easier it gets. I know.

[NoLeafClover]

It is so hard to get past abuse. It took me 10 years after the abuse had ended to stop getting flashbacks and nightmares.I still and probably will allways have issues with Intamicy and
some ways blame myself for the rest of my life. Its a long road.

The sooner you get through the issues the better.Everyones different though. Your mind is throwing flashbacks at you now because your ready to deal with them,but ofcourse dealing with them is a painful process. Therapy can help make since of everything or a close friend or relative.Having someone to listen makes all the difference.

If you ever wanna talk you can allways PM me. Take care.

[Lexicon78]

It's been 5 years for the most recent and most traumatizing event.

[SS8282]

I know it can take years, and that a person can always still feel some 'blame'. But it'll be easier to not let that bad feeling overtake and control us. It is very hard, but if we somehow, manage to move past that scary 'intimate' part, then that will be an accomplishment. Get past that 'wall'.

[Hope4me2]

my abuse happened when I was 7 and lasted with other family members until I was 12 UGH .... I am now 47 and working in therapy for the past 3 1/2 years to get past this.............but it HAUNTS me soooooooo...... I want it to just go away...........but I have to work through it step by step and my T has said some people take longer then others to work through the process....
the more we talk about it in Therapy the more flashbacks I am having and it is scarey espically when I smell something and I ask others around me do you smell the same thing I smell and when they say no it freaks me out........my brother always worked in trucks and smelled like desial fuel and I smell it all the time......scares the he*l out of me....freaks me out so much.........I just want it to all go away but it is not that easy.....I remember too everyday of what happened to me and by who and I cant get the tape in my head to stop....UGH your not alone at all...take care

[SS8282]

Sorry that happened to you Hope. I can certainly understand what you're going through, with the smell of fuel. For me, it was touching, even just a tap on the shoulder. Where I used to work, and now, it's very common - in fact it's 'always' happened' - that a visitor or colleague from another office comes and hugs you and gives you a kiss on both cheeks. Ya gotta do the same to them. Happens with both men and women. The first time that happened (years ago), I was so freaked that I went away in my mind, so I couldnt feel or anything.

Now, I'm so used to it that it's easy to greet people like that.

About that tape in your head - like real cassette tapes where the film will tear or something if played too often and for too long, that tape will eventually start wearing down and the impact will not be so intense. Give it time. Also, every time you smell that stinky fuel, tell yourself that he's not there in the room. He's not around and you are ok. You're safe. It's not easy, but I hope it'll help a bit. Huggles,