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#1
Nov 09, 2010, 04:58 PM
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i had a really intense therapy session today... did some trauma work, and it was probably the hardest session yet. i was having the flash back while my T was asking me questions about it once i think she realized what must be going on with me. i was already trying to keep myself together because my grandma's health is rapidly declining and it looks like unless she starts eating or drinking or something... that the end is soon. november is a hard month anyway, it hold within it an anniversary of the death of my best friend who took his life. it's next week. anyway. really intense therapy session today. i depersonalized the worst i have in a long, long time. i really struggled to come back and i still don't feel fully present. i am going to be alone tonight, and i am having these urges to SI. this use to "bring me back" most of the time.... i could feel the pain. i'm edging on 8 years without SI though, and i don't think i want to, but the urges are there for sure, the strongest they've been in awhile. i feel scared, and like i'm going to fall apart. i feel alone. there's a tiny part of me that wants to call or email my therapist but i don't want to feel like a bother. ugh. i feel so lost.....
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“Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes.” & “Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.” - Tori Amos. |
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#2
Nov 09, 2010, 05:02 PM
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I'm sorry T was so hard today
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It is a miracle that I have survived thus far and I strive to help others see miracles in every day life.
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 dustintochampagne
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#3
Nov 09, 2010, 05:44 PM
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i ended up calling my T and she talked to me for awhile, which helped and got me refocused for now i think. i will be seeing her again Thursday, which is probably for the best what with everything going on right now.
__________________
“Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes.” & “Healing takes courage, and we all have courage, even if we have to dig a little to find it.” - Tori Amos. |
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#4
Nov 09, 2010, 05:52 PM
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I hope Thursday brings you some peace
__________________
It is a miracle that I have survived thus far and I strive to help others see miracles in every day life.
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#5
Nov 10, 2010, 05:30 AM
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I'm so glad that you called your T and that you will see her again this week!!
__________________
Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........ I'm an ISFJ |
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