[ImNotHere]

Hello I am new here. I have been struggling quite a while with things lately, when I was a child I was physically abused in some ways. This has really destroyed my life and I can honestly say that as an adult I am losing it.

I have reoccurring thoughts of abuse, i have repeated visions and thoughts of people hurting children or hitting them. Some may say that hitting children in some ways is not abuse but I completely disagree. I am severely traumatized by that.

Like I said I have repetitive thoughts about this (hundreds and hundreds of times) what can i do to make this stop? (i have a therapist who is not really any help)

Anyways I have gotten to the point where if I ever see someone hitting their child in public I want to beat their faces in, and hit them for hitting their child, see how they like it. I know that I could beat the crap out of them and my self control is at an all time low. I know it doesn't make me any better than them but i cannot stand to see kids being hurt in anyway and these thoughts are ruining my life and driving me crazy.

What can I do about this? I can't stop these thoughts and could really end up hurting someone someday and beating the crap out of them or worse. I seriously feel like I am losing it a little. My mind is tired from all of these repetitive thoughts.

[HazelGirl]

Have you told your T about how bad these thoughts are?

If so, and she/he still isn't any help, can you consider switching to an EMDR therapist? It can really help with the flashbacks and repetitive thoughts.

[blueredgrey]

Dear ImNotHere,

I am really sorry for all the pain you underwent.
Honestly, I know how you feel. I feel like thrashing the _____ out of such ppl or sometimes even like cruelly break their bones....though I never was physically abused.

I think the fact that you want to help these children says a lot about how protective you are. You are a good, caring person.

I'd just tell you what I have understood/come to conclusion.

The reason you feel all that rage is because somewhere you feel helpless, unable to do when a child suffers. What I told myself is that these parents who hit their have a lot of problems going on in their life and find it easy to take it out on a child. In some cases, this is what they experienced as children and this is what they know about parenting.

If you want help children being physically abused (which I am sure you do), being hostile or angry towards them will not solve it. You can only hope to make them understand by talking to them politely like their friend, that hitting their child hurts them, affects brain development....imagine you in the kid's position...would like to be in that place.....etc.

If it happens in your building, don't be afraid to call child support (which is the ideal thing you can do).

Also, if things are not going good with your therapist, pls do look out for another. Sometimes it takes a few tries to find the one you gel with.

It's also a good idea to join something like kickboxing...it makes you feel powerful, in control and a great way to take out your anger.

Pls do write about all the abuse you suffered. Writing is very therapeutic. Some ppl say that where there's physical abuse, emotional abuse cannot be far away.

Do share some more about your life if you like. We're here to help you.

[nicoleflynn]

Use that energy to make a difference in the world. Advocate for abused children. When you see a child being abused speak quietly to the parent....in other word.s...use empathy;.....I know how difficult kids can be, etc..... Attacking the abusive parent will only cause them to abuse the child more, maybe and definitely tell you to butt out and that is not what you want. Volunteer at a shelter.....look for resources to use what you know and USE it to help others being abused.....Don't ever be silent when you see abuse; it is ALL of our responsibilities to speak up. Verbal abuse alone can change the brain physically; I have written a paper on the subject of verbal abuse if interested. Hugs, Nicole

[BLUEDOVE]

HONOUR THE CHILD YOU WERE AND FIND
A DECENT THERAPIST. THE WAY OUT IS
THROUGH,NOT AROUND.
Deepest Respect,
BLUEDOVE

[healingme4me]

violence need not beget violence

Sent from my LG-MS910 using Tapatalk 2

[ImNotHere]

But some people deserve to pay. Not children of course but adults.