how can my mother still "get to me"?

<font color="blue"> i just got off the phone with my mother.......

i'm 25 (well about ), and she still finds a way to emotionally hurt me, and make me feel like that little 10 year old girl who is dumber then a box of rocks........

why is it that some parents feel the need to poke fun, and bring their children down??

i have always been "the mother", to my mother.......

i have always went above and beyond the normal "daughter" duties..........

why can't she just love me, and want to take care of me for once???

why would my own mother want me to feel stupid and worthless........?

why would my own mother make fun of me.......?

and why to this day....??as i am now an adult and a mother myself.

why can't she be nice or just leave me alone?? </font>

I wish I had the answers tinybabyrex. I understand your hurt. I am 36 and my Mom can easily make me feel like a piece of trash, a 6 yo and just like I am worthless.
My Mom makes it all about her...whatever it is.
So, I am sad you are struggling with this too.

(((((((((((((((tinybabyrex)))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry. Your mother sounds just like mine. We can't change them. We can only change ourselves and any power we give them to hurt now that we're adults.

I'm stuggling with this still at 42, and have just cut all contact with the mother...for the third and final time. She crossed all lines this time. Now it's become a black and white issue for me. She doesn't deserve or have the right to cause me anymore pain. I've realized that she'll never, ever be what I've hoped and needed from her. The child inside is even giving up on those hopes and dreams. It's so very painful.

I wish you more than well. Please know that you don't deserve to be hurt.

KD

thank you for showing me i am not alone....

you'll find that there are many here that share the same hurt. it's a true hurt.

i didn't realize until recently that i'd spent my entire life trying to fill the mother's needs so that she'll just be something, anything, for me. it never worked. she was a bottomless pit.

at 42, it's my time. now, i'm grieving so much, so much wasted time.

i hope the same is not for you.

please be safe.

ps...are you in t at all?

kd

((((((((((huggs))))))))))))

<font color="blue"> no therapy.....

i have no insurance........

and i don't leave the house...

web-sites like this one and self-help books are all i have.............

i feel the same way about my mom......
bottomless pit

thank you for being so nice and repling to me</font>

((((((((((((Tinybabyrex))))))))))))))

I'm sorry your mother is hurting you.

time0

(((TBR)))
Wow, we have alot in common. Our moms really *ARE* alike. I know how you feel, and I am struggling with the very same exact issues. I'm also 25 and a mother, and I just don't get how parents can be so cruel to their children like mine are to me.... and yours is to you. I am so sorry. I'm not doing too great right now, but we can hold each other up if you'd like. Take care of yourself. I'm going to have to do the same as Kimmy did and just cut ties with my parents before it costs me my sanity. PM me anytime.

Please try to get the book Toxic Parents by Susan Forward. It is such a great help in situations like ours. A nurse recomended it to me, and gave me her copy to read. I then bought my own. I t is a real eye opener.

Thanks CJR! I found this book on e-bay for 99 cents. Woo hoo!

Now, don't be surprised to see yourself and your mother right there in the book ! And think hard, don't let it get to you as you are not in therapy. You have all of us here to talk to. If you want to discuss things as you read, I am here, and I have my book right on the shelf beside me. So, get ready to read and re-read, which I think you will do. Good Luck !!