Survivor?

I hear everyone talk about being a survivor. Thats all well and good and I really do hope that works for people. Unfortunately, I dont feel like a survivor. I feel like the person I could have been, would have been, or ever hoped to be- died. Im left with this broken miserable life. Appologizing for living and feeling ashamed of the depression. Being judged unmercifully by others who have no idea what its like to suffer like I have. I hear others who have suffered doing the same thing. Appologizing for not being able to handle these things. My question is----why? Why do we have to appologize and be labeled. The minute someone hears your in therapy- they judge you. The minute they hear your depressed -they judge you. Then you begin to be shunned as if you deserve to be punished for being a victim. Like you havent been through enough. Maybe the reason we cant get past these things is because people like to remind us over and over again that we are broken. I guess I am angry and I am sorry if this post upsets anyone. Its not my intention. I just needed to say it.

Hi Labels, welcome to PC. Info like having depression and being in therapy is intimate and should only be shared with people that you trust. This will save you a lot of problems.

Hi Labels.

Welcome to PC

It sounds like you're having a lot of feelings right now and you shouldn never apologize for how you're feeling.

If people are judging you for being in therapy, then maybe they aren't good people for you to be around.
There are people out there that don't like to see people get better so they do what they can to bring others down.

Feeling like a Survivor is not something that just happens. It takes work and pain and the suffering that you're talking about. it's about going through all of this and coming out the other side. Not even to say that you have become some kind of successful superstar, but sometimes that you are just still alive makes you a survivor, at least in my book.

i'm sorry that you feel so awful and hope you'll keep posting - the people at PC are so great at making us feel better about things.

I understand what you are saying - some people just don't get it! I learned to only share my troubles with the ones I truly trust. Some of your words sound exactly like the place I was in a couple years ago...it can get better! It takes a lot of hard work and there are ups and downs, but I'm facing my past with a different thought process now. I'm not done healing and I still have a long way to go, but a tiny part of me is actually starting to believe that the person I am supposed to be is still inside me, hidden under layers of pain. As I strip away those layers of pain - more and more of my "real" self is emerging.
You don't need to apologize for anything - it was not your fault - you are coping the best you know how and with time you will find yourself closer to what you dreamed you would be. Keep holding on. PC is a safe place - you will not be judged here!