my abuse?

I was 16 he was 19
I was young and a "tease" I loved to flirt and I was lonely.
We began dating..
we were making out one night..
he had already tried to push some things on me but this time he tried to go down on me..
it seems silly most women love that...but I wasn't comfortable and he kept pushing and pushing until he had his way...
I felt helpless... he was ontop of me and he didn't get far...but he did do enough to make me feel violated...I can never let a guy eat me out after this event...I feel so stupid to be so hurt after something like that...but here it is. I just feel like if I said no that should have been enough but no he kept pushing... he is now married and happy. I don't think he deserves it.. Am I overreacting?

you are certainly not overreacting, a guy should respect no means no at any stage in the performance. you have every right to say no if at any point you do not feel comfortable with the preceedings after all it is your body he is delighting himself with,. sex should be mutually agreed to, if not it is abuse! it is not right to set out to tease though as this will eventually lead to a guy not respecting no once turned he is on.
try meeting guys just for a meal or non alcoholic drink in a public place. make it clear beforehand that you are not ready for anything more. any guy worth his salt will respect this, most others will run! the odd one may try to talk you into going home with them or rthem going home with you, this can be avoided by booking a cab for a set time to take you home or by arranging a friend to stop by the meeting place at an arranged time and insisting you need to leave with them instead to sort out a problem they are having or some other excuse!!
do not totally give up on men, the right one is out there, just be clear about your needs and wishes before agreeing to meet.
stay safe x

It is natural to flirt, especially at 16 when we want to know we are attractive, and we aren't very experienced with boys.

It is NEVER OK for a man to do anything sexual that a woman has said no to. You feel violated because you were. I had a similar experience at 18 and it took me many, many years to feel comfortable with that type of sexual act with my husband. I was too embarassed about it to ever talk about it in therapy, though. It would have helped if I had, I'm sure. So I am glad you have "talked" about it here.

He does not deserve it, you are right. If you feel lonely I am here.

Thank you guys for all the support it all feels clearer now...That was 2 years ago almost 3...I will be 19 in a month and My boyfriend and I have been somewhat intimate but I won't let him go down on ... It will take a while.