Vulnerability

If there is one feeling that i've felt alot in the last year, its vulnerability. I feel like im all exposed..and want to cry alot. No real good reason. My whole life is often based on escaping this vulnerability. run..run run to food.. run run run online. but never to friends. Its so lonley. I can't even expose this part to my T. Yet I can't close this vulnerability and it seems like I hate it more and more because it seems to coincide with all the bad things going on in my life, depression - weight gain - addiction - friendlessness - ugliness - I could go on. Its almost like i think if I could make the vulnerability go away, maybe others would like me again. maybe i would like myself and take care of myself.. maybe i wouldnt need to binge and purge. It never leaves though. It seems to get larger.. and makes me more ugly and unbearable.

Esther,

How about making a list of all the reasons why you feel vulnerable? I think somehow you are feeding your vulnerability. Maybe if you put things down on paper you can identify anything else that might be "disguising" itself as vulnerability.

You can send me a PM if you want to chat about this more.

Jane

Good idea, Jane. =) I hope this works for you {{{Esther}}}

(((((((((((((((((EV)))))))))))))))))))

I understand. I hope this calms for you or can be resolved.

In the place where I am in healing, I've told t that it leaves alot of me feeling very vulnerable and that's so difficult.

I'm thinking of you.

KD

I'm sorry you're feeling so vulnerable. I know it's terrible to feel this way. I run from a lot of things, too. You could say I've been running a life-long marathon! I seem to run from everything! So I really do know where you're coming from.

I do not believe that you are ugly. You are one of the most beautiful people I know. Of course I'm not one to go by looks, either. I know being an attractive person on the outside matters to a lot of people, but I wouldn't base everything on that. Some of the most physically attractive people are the most ugliest people in the world! I also struggle with weight and not having many friends. I know I do not have any close friends. I have one friend that I on occasion hang out with, but that's it. I really don't have anyone else.

Try to hang in there and I hope you can find a way to get a break from this vulnerability.