[mtd]

I've been in recovery from child sex abuse for about 7 years, so it really surpises me how often I still notice new things about myself. I was at a reception tonight with a bunch of people I don't know and for some reason a lot of people asked if I was in a relationship and all that. I tried to ignore them, but one even tried to connect me with a group. I'm not in a relationship and I don't want to. The truth is I hate being touched just a little bit more than I really want to be close to someone, so I just keep to myself and act too busy. All the way home though I just wanted to scream or cry or something. Honestly, I feel lonely -- a lot -- but I don't want anyone close, and all those questions tonight were a very unwelcomed reminder. I've come so far in my recovery, but this part is very hard and very painful. Thanks for letting me share.

[greenfairy]

i'm sorry that your evening caused you pain. i know how you feel, to want someone to be there but not want to be touched. its difficult when we make progress but others, however unintentionally, remind us of how much we still have to heal. i know that youre feeling lonely, but youre not alone. and being on your own right now, without all the pressures and difficulties of a relationship, will give you the chance to build yourself up, to find the things that will make you feel whole again, to keep discovering all the things about yourself you have yet to understand, so that when you do find the right person, you are comfortable with yourself, with where you've been and who you've become. dont know if this helps at all. keeping you in my thoughts and wishing you the best.

[mtd]

good reminders and good affirmations. thank you.

mtd