[BamaSurvivor86]

I've been with Justin off and on for going on 6 months Feb. 8th... We've been living together for almost a month now and it's been complete HELL. I wanted so bad to move out of my parents home because of the crap I've been through in this house. Went through years of sexual abuse in my parents home and me and my dad fought pretty much daily up until I moved. So I moved in with Justin, thinking it'd be so much better. I was so wrong.

Since moving in with him, I've become one of those miserable "house-wives"... I get woke up every morning before 7am to him screaming at me, "Go run my bath water!" "Go fix my breakfast!" "Clean this pig sty up now!"... I do so much for him and wouldn't complain if it was appreciated, but it's not. Not a day goes by that he doesn't call me names all throughout the day. My name isn't Stacy anymore... I dont get called baby or sweetheart. I get called a c*nt, a ******, a *****, a slut, any name he can think of to call me. We got into an arguement the other day while I was driving and he choked me. I wrecked my car. Not bad, but he choked me until I couldn't see straight so I ran off the road into a deep ditch. That's the first time he put his hands on me... Since then he's started hitting me on the arms when he gets angry and pushes me. I DON'T want to go back home and I DON'T want to leave him. I really do love him. I never thought I'd go through this crap again but here I am. I know what I need to do, which is leave... But where to? How am I supposed to make it without him? *sigh* I'm so miserable.

[CedarS]

Call The National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)

Please call them or another domestic violence place as soon as you can. Please.

The National Domestic Violence site at http://www.ndvh.org/help/planning.html has info on resources in your area, info on how to make safety plans, and other vital stuff.

I believe that the first priority is your safety.

[desirae]

Your situation sounds familiar. I know that story, because I to live it at times. Depends on the situation....anyway. I don't want to get on here and tell you to go here or there, because ultimately I know you don't want to....who does?
But I can tell you if you stay it will only get worse and worse. That's the only good thing about an abusive man....they're extremely typical and predictable.
I know what it's like to not have anywhere to go. I stay because I have children, and they are well cared for.
If you have nothing like that containing you, then don't tolerate it..........runaway!!!
It don't matter where you go, where ever you end up you'll be safer then you are now.
If your like me you'll regret writing this post....then you'll convince yourself, he's not that bad.
Don't do it, believe this moment because it is real.
I hope you do whatever it is that needs to be done. The beautiful thing about women is there strong, and they adapt. Even if it's not good for them. If you've adapted to this situation your in now.....then you could adapt else where.
Good Luck Bama. I hope it all works out for you.
Keep us posted so we don't worry about you.
Desirae

[bipolar_bear]

Please take care of yourself. There are organizations listed in your area such as Battered Women shelters where they can help you and give you a place to stay. They will help you get back on your feet and able to take care of yourself. No one deserves to be treated like that and it sounds like it is escalating. Please get yourself safe as it does not sound like it is where you are.

[mrb020377]

BAMA! I care about you! This scary! You know what needs to be done and i hate that you are in this situation! I am going to pm you!

[Beautiful_Pain]

{{{{{Bama}}}}} I agree with desirae and bp bear. Take care of yourself, sweetie. =(

[wi_fighter]

Here's a list of women's abuse shelters in Alabama, if it's not too late.

http://www.acadv.org/shelterlist.html

[BamaSurvivor86]

Thank you all for the support, advice, links, and numbers. We broke up for two days. We got into a huge blow-out at his brothers house and he threw me against the wall and started kicking me repeatedly. His brother finally got him off of me and told me he'd hold him there long enough to get out of there. I went to the hospital. No broke bones or anything but my ribs are bruised and he hurt my kidneys. During those two days apart, I felt as if my world had come to an end. I went out and did some things I shouldn't have done (drugs and cutting) and did everything in my power to try and OD and hope I wouldnt wake up the next morning. I should be dead. Took 3 Extacy pills, smoked A LOT of dope, took a lot of pain pills and nerve pills, and drank them all down with liquor. All I could feel was numbness those two days. I didn't smile, I didn't eat, I didn't sleep, all I could do was get high and sit there. So I went back. We've been back together two days now and so far things are going alright. We've finally had a serious talk about what we want changed in the relationship and what we need to work on as individuals. I love this man with all my heart and soul and would move the ocean for him if I could. He's my world, my everything. Without him, there is no me. He's still calling me names some but not near as much and he hasn't put his hands back on me. I'm hoping it stays that way... I never want to be in the state I was in the other day again. I feel like such a fool.

[mrb020377]

you arent a fool, but you dont deserve that kind of treatment either.. please take care of yourself.... i am soo worried about you

[Rhapsody]

Basically one will always pick people to interact with in life and in love that resembles their own wounds and past hurts until they get help with them and then HEAL.... it is a subconscious thing that we do when wounded.

I would NEVER tell a person to leave someone they love but then again I can tell you that it will only get worse for YOU unless he receives some help for his own issues and temper.... anger only serves to cover up a deeper feeling / emotion.

Good Luck & Stay Safe -

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[LMo]

oh my god...

Bama...

I don't know what to say. This is Battered Woman Syndrome and you're smack in the middle of it.

I want to be supportive of you, but I simply cannot comprehend how insecure you must be to forgive something like that. You and I live in completely different worlds. This makes me feel very naive. I'm stunned and in disbelief that this happened, and that you've put yourself back into a position where it WILL happen again.

[bipolar_bear]

It makes me sad that you have returned to a relationship that he still is being disrespectful to you. No one deserves that. Do you honestly feel that he will change and you will be safe emotionally and physically where you are? I hope so if you decide to stay. I understand how scary it can be to make a major change such as you would be looking at but please do not think that there are not alternatives. I worry about your safety but will respect whatever your decision is. I am not trying to persuade you one way or another, as this is ultimately your decision, but do want you to realize you have options. If you want someone to talk to please feel free to PM me. Please, please be safe.

[shellie0126]

Bama:

Sorry to hear about your situation. That is awful. I know you have received lots of advice about leaving and going to a shelter, but if want to remain alive, you have to.

I was in a relationship with a guy who had BPD like I do. He was emotionally abusive to me, then became physically abusive. Nowhere near the extent of what you are going through, but he was physically abusive, and it escalated. Finally, I got the strength to end things with him. He packed several bags and left the house. I thought he was gone (except to get his furniture) but no. He was simply taking a day or so to get drunk and premeditate my murder. He came back in the middle of the night and nearly killed me in the middle of the night while I was asleep.

Now, I understand how it is to feel like you have nowhere to run to. We were living in Australia at the time (where he is from) and I had NOWHERE to go. Literally nowhere. I just ran from the house, and total strangers helped me.

You can get out of there. I'm sure you know this, but once the abuse starts, it rarely if ever ends. Please be careful and don't stay with him. Good Luck to you.

[BamaSurvivor86]

Thank you all for the support and advice and care. Things are finally changing for the better. We've started couples therapy after a long talk and he realized what he was doing and admitted to needing help. We've only been to one session so far but it was a major help. He hasn't even raised his voice to me in a week. That doesn't seem like much but it means the world to me. We have another therapy session next week and I hope the more we go, the more he sees his faults as I will be seeing mine and we can work through all our issues and come together and work things out. He's had a really tough childhood and a rough start to adulthood, as have I. Maybe through therapy together we can resolve these issues and heal together.

[mrb020377]

Bama,
I am glad that you are seeing some improvement... You are a good person... I know I keep saying that... I hope that one of these times you will hear it and it will stick... I am glad that you guys are going to couple therapy together... it helps!!

((((((((((((((((Bama)))))))))))))))))))