[Jahda]

Hi all, I'm an old member who has been gone for a long time so i guess that makes me a new member again? i registered as Jahda but lately I go by the name Adria - seemed to make more sense to use my original account than start up all over again just for the name change? But mabye it would be easier in the long run?

But my problem is i am losing my therapist whom I have been working with for over a decade on DID and C-PTSD and now he is just up and moving and says we can have no contact. I'm going insane. I have been crying non-stop ever since I heard the news. I just can't stop!!

He was the very first person in my life who I allowed myself to open up to completely considering how severely I was abused since infancy it's shocking I ever allowed it to happen. But i took a chance, a risk in the hopes of healing, and now I pay the price. I thought this time would be different, I need him to continue our work together or at the very least to be my friend - still have contact ... And he says it's all over for good. Permanently as he won't be here.

Has anyone else been through this at this degree and do you have any tips or suggestions? I called around for a new therapist but the answer was the same - "NO new patients"... Thanks so much for any thoughts or ideas

[WantingtoHeal]

OH I am sooo sooo sorry Adria (Jahda). I have lost several therapists for different reasons. I've never worked with one as long as you have, though. I worked with one for 2 years and I received a letter from her office that she would be moving. I was crushed. I wish she would have told me in person. Fortunately, she sent the letter out a year before her move so there was time to process it. She has allowed me to contact her and I have actually had lunch with her a few times. But those times have been very few as I have moved on.

Another time, one of my therapists that I had seen for 6 months died very suddenly of a massive heart attack. Quite a shock and very upsetting. I still am in shock about that.

To me, it seems your therapist's job is to help you find another therapist - to refer you to someone. That would be the professional thing to do, especially since he has worked with you for so long. Have you asked him for names? Has he given you time to process this with him?

With the T that moved, she didn't know of a good T in this area, so I basically was on my own to find one. I randomly picked in the phone book and just gave it a try. I didn't trust the new T at all and mostly poured out my anger and distrust of her and told her she was nothing like my old doctor. She listened and listened and I saw her for 2 years. I was never as close to her as I was to the previous one, but it helped me make it through the grief. I tried several other Ts, but didn't care for them. I've just recently found one that I think I really like.

Time was really what helped me and distractions.

The "No new Patient" thing can sometimes be worked around. Find out if they work with DID and C-PTSD or not. If they do, explain that your old T is moving and you really need someone experienced in that area, could they please consider discussing this with the doctor or could the doctor personally call you to discuss referrals. Find anyone to see to help you through the grief and loss until you can find someone that you can connect to again.

Sadly, I have had to just go within and do some major grieving, get really angry, be really lonely, cry a lot, and keep on going. Very very lonely and sad and I do not wish this on anyone.

I think your T is a ***** honestly for saying no contact. I'm so sorry you are going through this.

I had to reach out to others like you are doing here, find a way to get involved with things, and write a lot.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by Jahda

Hi all, I'm an old member who has been gone for a long time so i guess that makes me a new member again? i registered as Jahda but lately I go by the name Adria - seemed to make more sense to use my original account than start up all over again just for the name change? But mabye it would be easier in the long run?

But my problem is i am losing my therapist whom I have been working with for over a decade on DID and C-PTSD and now he is just up and moving and says we can have no contact. I'm going insane. I have been crying non-stop ever since I heard the news. I just can't stop!!

He was the very first person in my life who I allowed myself to open up to completely considering how severely I was abused since infancy it's shocking I ever allowed it to happen. But i took a chance, a risk in the hopes of healing, and now I pay the price. I thought this time would be different, I need him to continue our work together or at the very least to be my friend - still have contact ... And he says it's all over for good. Permanently as he won't be here.

Has anyone else been through this at this degree and do you have any tips or suggestions? I called around for a new therapist but the answer was the same - "NO new patients"... Thanks so much for any thoughts or ideas

Oh, i am so sorry! No contact?! Guess that's his thing, but I can imagine how that must have made you feel!

Opening up and trusting is so hard, and then when this happens, it feels like all we did was in vain!

I had an issue like yours 2 years ago, with a lady who told me she "could deal with my issues" and then she disappeared when she knew I was really hurting and after she had set some boundaries that I WAS following and told me I "could email her anytime" (then blocked her email without telling me, or telling me why)

I spent that evening at the beach, wanting to end myself (back in 2010).

But I am still here.

You will be okay.

Billi

[nannypat]

I lost a long time P/doc T a few years ago because he lost his license to practice. I reacted much like you with the unbelievable grief. I had to find a new p/doc T but it took me over a year. I had a cognitive T and she helped me to get through this even though it was outside the framework of what she usually does.

My new p/doc T was very helpful in this. I once asked him when I would stop crying about this and he told me you will when you have cried enough but he would be there the whole time for me.
As hard as it is, a new T will help you with this. I still cry sometimes. I was with him for 20 yrs. Sending you safe hugs. I am so sorry you have to go through this. The pain is deep and lasts a long time.

[Open Eyes]

Hi Jahada,
I am sorry that you are going through this. Please do not blame yourself in this, the therapist probably needs to break away from all his/her clients for personal reasons that need to be tended to. It is hard work to be a therapist and have so many that depend on you, so you must try to be kind and understand that. A therapist has to recognize if they are somehow getting worn out and may not be helping their patients as much as the patients deserve to be helped.

The therapy you have had has taught you some things, as you mentioned, how to discuss your past and find the courage to talk about it. And it has also taught you that someone CAN listen and be understanding and helpful. While you have not "yet" found another therapist, be patient and keep trying. It took me a while myself to find a therapist that specialized in treating my C-Pstd. Have you been able to ask this therapist you have had for a referral or some ideas in finding another therapist?

Also, there have been more studies done on C-ptsd and more treatments designed for it, not all therapists keep up with the new research being done so it can be beneifical to find a new therapist that is current on the new therapies and research, so keep looking and searching the net for therapists in your area. And if you call a therapist and the message is that the therapist is not taking new patients always ask if they know other therapists that can treat you.

For now, please know that you can come to PC for support and use it to help you through the hump while your searching for a new therapist. I did that for a while myself and it really helped me.

((((((Hugs)))))))
Open Eyes