Is it only me??

I've been reading the SA section for a very long time now. It has given me the courage to sign up to PC and make a post in this section.

I know that most people who have gone through sexual abuse don't really remember it or it would be a patchy. Another thing is the trauma. I've read that its common to suffer from flashbacks. Or even have compulsive sexual behaviors.

My point is that I don't. I was sexually abused from 8 to 9 from a boy who was 4 years older then me. I remember most of what he did to me. I feel like, from what I don't remember is because it happened for a year and things became repetitive. But to say that what he did to me effected my life is an understatement. I've suffered so much because of him. Yet I don't experience dreams about it anymore. But I've never experienced a peaceful sleep with some sort of sedative. I've never experienced a flashback, from what I know of (maybe I don't understand the definition properly). I'm 18 and never engaged in any sexual behaviors with a guy. In a way it's strange, I have low self-esteem and think of myself as dirt yet I'm trying to 'save' the last piece of innocence I have. By doing this I feel like I'm putting myself back together.

I basically want to know that just because I don't have these symptoms would that help the process of getting better by seeing a professional go by quicker. At the moment I'm not talking to anyone about my issues and I know it would help tremendously. I've only mentioned the abuse to two of my friends and never talked about it, although I've written about it in a journal.

I'm just curious about what you guys think. Thanks for reading.

Hi Nomad, welcome to PC. Everyone is different so it is hard to compare. You do deserve to work through this with a therapist, though. Are you going to make an appt.?

I'm glad you decided to post. It sounds like it's the first step towards seeking help.

I definitely think that talking to a therapist about your issues would be helpful. Sometimes it helps me to just hear things out loud.

Hi and welcome to PC.

Talking to a therapist would definitely be beneficial for resolving your issues, regardless of what symptoms you may or may not experience. Just because a symptom is common doesn't mean that one can't experience something different.