[2bme]

Having trouble controlling my anger. I pray and believe that God is keeping it in check. Just feel that I am loosing a grip. I keep it neatly inside. Any ideas how to deal with a feeling that your anger will get out an create havoc. I want to hit something or someone. Used to get it out when I used to drink. So for 12 years I'm sober and try dealing with it maturely. I'm scared it will escape. And that I will never get it under control again.

[Open Eyes]

2bme, anger is also a part of PTSD, all the emotions are. And yes it can be a tremendous urge to express. If you can run, or do something very physical that does help a lot. Yes, while before you used alcohol to control it, it doesn't really work but finding something where you can physically exert yourself can help you burn it off.

And if you need to vent, do it here as well, that way you have someone who can listen as well.

So far you are doing everything right and talking about what your noticing is good too.
I can't promise you wont snap at family members, can you at least talk to your mother and tell her that it may happen as you are working through PTSD? I did that with my husband and while it took him time to understand NOT to absorb my anger but to just allow me to let it out, he has gotten the hang of what it means.

Now I am at a point where I am more aware of it and I am trying to work on not letting it happen, it isn't easy, often it just pops out and I have to appologize afterwards and then tell myself consciously to try to talk it out instead of responding in anger.

Remember, with PTSD everything is magnified so you have to be prepared for that but it will lessen as you work through it. If you know this going in, you can avoid feeding into it and work through everything better.

I have come to realize that the emotions that are involved with my early years are often stronger but it doesn't always mean things were worse, these memories are from a child who could have been more frighened at the time. Remember that you are older now and need to find a part of you that comforts yourself while you work through all of this. I wish someone had explained this to me, I am going on hindsite now and I would have done better at not feeding into it with being more afraid during the experiencing of the memories including the emotions.

You are doing good so far, as I said, try to use physical exertion/exercise of some kind to help you with the anger.

We are here and listening,

((((Hugs))))
Open Eyes

[2bme]

I cannot share anything with Mom. She is struggling with her own issues. My dad and brothers death. Although its been a while, she can't seem to deal with it. And don't want help. I cannot confide this in her. So dealing on my own with my T. I do go out and walk or hit stuff in the garage. But it just keeps getting harder. I feel like a dinamite stick ready to explode. Seeing T on the 25th and she wants me committed for a while so maybe I'll do that. Just to get over the worst. I don't know. Maybe it will help. Taking Mom and everyone out of the line of fire. If I can just sleep it will be better.

[haier]

2bme, sorry to hear that you might be committed. i was committed once.....i know how you feel. i am unable to express anger too. i feel like a ticking time bomb too. sometimes i'm so scared because i'm so impulsive. i hope things get better.

[Sannah]

Do you understand what you are angry about?