[shoez]

This whole place..the world.

No matter how hard I try to get help...why do the ones who started helping me then meet my abusers and stop listening to me...
they turn a deaf ear and again..
im alone.

"No that charming charming woman and the polite man couldn't possibly have done the things you've told me about..its impossible. They are so nice, they care so much, so concerned about you..."

Then I get home and the charming man and that charming woman destroy my soul and I feel it would have been better had I been born a roach. Where it is to be expected, that Ill get stepped on......

No one will ever believe me....sometimes I start to wonder, if maybe Im seeing things...maybe Im so judgemental I have created my own abusive reality

[Sannah]

What happened? Did your therapist say this to you?

[iamdetermined]

I hear you loud and clear and I believe you. I am in the same situation. They are cunning and ingenius. They are so good at making anyone believe what they want that it sometimes has you believing it too.

I was so insecure and unsure of anything that happened to me even though the memories were like it happened yesterday. Still, I thought "am I delusional?" Do I have such a vivid imagination to tell such unbelievable stories? Or the best..."why are you doing this to them". They are good people and maybe the stress you're under has clouded your memory. That last one came from my best friend yesterday. Guess I'll be taking a break from that friendship for awhile.

I think the worst part about any abuse (mine are NPDs) is when you KNOW you're telling the truth, you KNOW you're remembering it correctly and yet people, even our friends, cannot wrap their brains around the fact that some abusers are so manipulative, so controlling, and worse have the capability to pull off both personalities making you look like some pathological liar or chalk it up to selective memory syndrome.

Just know you're not alone and that counts for something!

[bohogypsy]

I'm really sorry to hear about your situation (yours too iamdetermined). It's not good at all. It must be painful to feel that your experiences are being undermined by people who were initially supporting you. I imagine that it must feel very disillusioning/invalidating. Who's helping you btw, friends? Mutual acquaintances will often take one side over another. If it was a therapist (or other professional) I would say that they should be referring you on to someone else because there is now a conflict of interest - it's unethical to carry on that relationship. If you feel there is a problem... well, there is a problem! No-one should diminish that. Big hugs xx

[Open Eyes]

((((shoez)))),

I am sorry that your abusers interferred with your therapy and therapist. I can sympathize because this happened to me as well. A GOOD therapist who UNDERSTANDS, REALLY UNDERSTANDS the emotional reality of an abuse victim will SEE THROUGH the manipulation of the abusers. Sorry to say I had this happen to me and my abusers put thier labels on me and it was not helpful to me at all. In fact I now have flashbacks about that.

Shoez, you need to clear the air with your therapist and tell him/her that if they are going to be helpful to you at all then they have to believe you and allow you to feel safe with them. That is a therapist's job shoez, and if a therapist is not providing that situation for you, then ask for a referral or find a different therapist, I had to do that myself. People don't get the way you are all on their own, there are definite sypmtoms someone has that are REAL signs they have been abused. And as we know you here, we can see it and validate you many times over.

Yes, you are right NPD's can be very astute at making things seem like it is someone else's fault and they are the victim. You need to remind the therapist of this and have him/her really think about their time spent with these people and give it some real thought. Tell the therapist to pay attention to the way these people are SO GOOD AT MANIPULATING THE TRUTH and you are not kidding, you have struggled with this for many years. Ask your therapist is he/she is going to join in with these abusive people and INVALIDATE YOU AS WELL. Because if that IS the case, this therapist will only cause further abuse/damage.

(((SHOEZ)))) don't back down on this and give in, you deserve to be validated and helped and I am sure everyone here will agree with that. Make yourself clear with this therapist and if he/she is not going to believe you and work with you then find someone who WILL. There are good therapists out there that do know their stuff.

((((Hugs))))
Open Eyes