[radio_flyer]

Wasn't sure where to put this because I don't believe this is abuse, maybe it is "neglect".

Anyway, as a child, I never felt "protected/nurtured." Not to write a book about it, I was just wondering if there are any "effects" of lacking nurturing/protection as a child. And could it have any effect on one's adult life.

I was over protective of my children. I was also protective of my husband and always overlooking their "abusive ways"..blaming myself as an adult. Being blamed by others as an adult.

Sometimes I try to "figure" me out. What my deal is that makes me this compliant twirp that when pushed to the extreme, profanity fly from my lips that would make a sailor blush. And I hate hearing profanity let alone let it fly from my very own lips.. But that only happens when I am "startled" or "feel trapped or frightened"..

Neglect prob made me perfect prey for that childhood sexual abuse. Not sure why I'm so compliant other than whoever trained me did a great job.
But then again, maybe none of this has anything to do with the me that I turned out to be.. I hate pointing the finger at others or the past. But just wondering if neglect and/or lack of feeling protected/nurtured effects ones wellbeing and growth as a child

[Purple Heart]

HI radio_flyer

As adults we’re a product of our childhood. What happened in our childhood impacts on us as adults. Some examples of this can affect us in negative ways such as becoming an alcoholic, gambler, violent or sexual addiction to name but a few. Neglect can be just as harmful in adulthood as childhood abuse. Do you see a therapist? By becoming aware of what was done to us as children we can change patterns and psychological problems in the present. You become a better person for it. Best wishes.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by radio_flyer

I was just wondering if there are any "effects" of lacking nurturing/protection as a child.

Major effects. It will affect your self worth for sure because it made you feel like you weren't valuable. Probably affected your ability to express yourself because no one was paying attention. It can cause anxiety because you didn't feel safe. It can cause you to not meet your needs because your needs weren't met and you didn't learn how. This is all that I can think of now. Child development is really important and this would really affect child development.

[critterlady]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Major effects. It will affect your self worth for sure because it made you feel like you weren't valuable. Probably affected your ability to express yourself because no one was paying attention. It can cause anxiety because you didn't feel safe. It can cause you to not meet your needs because your needs weren't met and you didn't learn how. This is all that I can think of now. Child development is really important and this would really affect child development.

Exactly this. This is exactly how not being protected as a kid affected me. I didn't know it until very recently, but everything T said about it resonated with me.

[radio_flyer]

thank you Purple Heart. I guess one day I'm going to get it. That trauma or neglect effects not only the child, but the adult too. I can't think of anything more to say. Guess I am still embarrassed about childhoold. Embarrassed with my short comings as an adult. If I admit it. Deal with it. Maybe I can change. Yet I am no spring chicken. shrugs shoulders

[radio_flyer]

thank you Sannah.. I can relate to all that you have written. I wish I could say more. Just can't find the words to say much.. Other than thank you.

[radio_flyer]

I'm sorry you were not protected as a child. critterlady... Really sucks big time when children are hurt by abuse or neglect. Precious little children. :*(

[radio_flyer]

I think I just don't want anyone know that I've been hurt. Even as an adult, hurtful things I hide. Guess when I start hurting too much, I will break and deal with it..It hurts more to talk my pain so I guess I plant sunflowers which works for a short time, but that old stuff keeps smacking me in the face. New stuff even smacks me in the face.

[Sannah]

This stuff needs to be let out.

[JLarissaDragon]

Neglect is a form of abuse that leads to isolation. As a child we have needs for love, affection and support as well as the physical an basic needs of support. If we have not been nurtured growing up, we look for it in dysfunctional ways, which is why therapists tell me I acted out so much as a teenager after my mom died. It took all kinds of stupid mistakes on my part and I still find it hard to accept support from others although I desperately need it. Often people do respond to their own lack of nurturing by becoming over protective which does not work either

I empathize with you and i am so sorry that you did not get the nurturing that you needed. As adults we can break the cycle though, I am finding it hard but am committed to learning how to live a more wholesome and balanced life. I wish you well in your struggle and I am here to cheer for you as well

Hugs --Larissa

[Big Mama]

Neglect certinly has a life long impact. I just started trauma T. I simply had no idea the impact this had on me. I settled for sexual abuse and rape and did not try to escape. I just wanted to be nurtured and wanted. I was wanted and needed alright to fill someones sexual needs. I was raped repeatedly for 9 months. Now I am married to a emotionally abusive man. I behave like a child raised in an orphanage. I want no physical contact and don't express any emotions. I am working w/ a great T though and figuring some of these things out. I had no idea my issues were from childhood. I to am no spring chicken the rape was 20 years ago and I'm just now working on it. It is never to late to change your life. You still have a life to live so why not make it a great one. You can teach an old dog new tricks I'm proof.

[geez]

Originally Posted by radio_flyer

Wasn't sure where to put this because I don't believe this is abuse, maybe it is "neglect".

Anyway, as a child, I never felt "protected/nurtured." Not to write a book about it, I was just wondering if there are any "effects" of lacking nurturing/protection as a child. And could it have any effect on one's adult life.

I was over protective of my children. I was also protective of my husband and always overlooking their "abusive ways"..blaming myself as an adult. Being blamed by others as an adult.

Sometimes I try to "figure" me out. What my deal is that makes me this compliant twirp that when pushed to the extreme, profanity fly from my lips that would make a sailor blush. And I hate hearing profanity let alone let it fly from my very own lips.. But that only happens when I am "startled" or "feel trapped or frightened"..

Neglect prob made me perfect prey for that childhood sexual abuse. Not sure why I'm so compliant other than whoever trained me did a great job.
But then again, maybe none of this has anything to do with the me that I turned out to be.. I hate pointing the finger at others or the past. But just wondering if neglect and/or lack of feeling protected/nurtured effects ones wellbeing and growth as a child

Neglect most definatly effects ones wellbeing and growth as a child. And effects our relationships as adults. I was neglected as a child.

As for your reaction of 'swearing' I completely understand. I have never hit my children but there is a rage in me when I get angry with my kids that scares me sometimes. - It all relates to how I was treated as a child. I'm a much better parent than my parents however when we are stressed we tend to react to situations like we were taught. It's like we are on autopilot. - not saying our behavior as parents should be excused when me mess up but that we should try to do better.

Have you read anything on attachment? That would be a good place to start IMO. Many hugs.

[radio_flyer]

geez... I have not read anything on attachment.. Looks like a good place to start reading.. Thanks for the suggestion..

Big Mama..I can relate to not wanting physical contact..Is good you found a good T . A good T is very important..

I wish I could say more. Seems my resistance is on high right now. I feel so sad when I read other's painful childhood. Yet I lack "feelings" on my own childhood. I still find this forum very difficult to visit and to read and relate to.. I do try.. Just seems my mind won't focus here..It drifts off.. And I am left scrambling for words to reply to those precious folks that have re sponded..