[Little Me]

I'm having a terrible time dealing with the fact that I was impulsive a year ago and spoke publicly about my abuse. It has been rough and I wish I didn't. People have read about so many things that should have been a secret. Some people reached out to me and said how I helped them. Others have said how great I must feel about telling. I don't feel great about telling. It's crappy. I wish I never told. I know I sound childish but feeling very childish right now.

[Leed]

Just my thoughts, but I would imagine that you helped an AWFUL lot of people by your speaking about it. Very few people would have the courage to do what you did, and I would hope that you would feel proud of yourself. Even if you helped only one person, can you imagine how that must feel to that ONE?? You might have even saved a life!! You just have no idea how your speaking may have affected someone who might have been thinking of ending it all.

By your having the courage to speak, you may have given one person the courage to live. God bless you Little Me, and please take care. Hugs, Lee

[Little Me]

Originally Posted by Leed

Just my thoughts, but I would imagine that you helped an AWFUL lot of people by your speaking about it. Very few people would have the courage to do what you did, and I would hope that you would feel proud of yourself. Even if you helped only one person, can you imagine how that must feel to that ONE?? You might have even saved a life!! You just have no idea how your speaking may have affected someone who might have been thinking of ending it all.

By your having the courage to speak, you may have given one person the courage to live. God bless you Little Me, and please take care. Hugs, Lee

I don't feel proud of myself but thanks. I did help people, just not myself. Have received lots of messages, fb, email, etc. from people saying how it helped them. Also more victims were identified because nobody knew about what this guy had done so the others shared their story too. Still in the news so I never know when it crops up. My name, details, etc. just keep popping up. I try to keep it from my mind because it is a nightmare that the world might know about what happened. What's also tough is that people see me publicly as in great shape and so put together and doing awesome. In fact, I'm falling apart and a mess inside. My family sees the same strong me too. It's what I need to do because I don't know how to be vulnerable to others. But..... it's lonely and I feel just as alone as I did for all those earlier years.

[Leed]

Are you in therapy? I certainly hope so. In not, can you get into therapy? This is something that you shouldn't have to handle alone, my friend. You need to be able to open up to someone who understands all this, and who can help you to cope. A therapist would be able to teach you coping skills, but is also there to listen! We HAVE to have someone to talk to who knows what this is all about and has SOME compassion, however small.

If you're not in therapy, please make an appointment. Your medical doctor can help you with that. And if you are in therapy, please open up and tell everything. That's the only way to heal.

I wish you the very best. God bless. Hugs, Lee

[Little Me]

Originally Posted by Leed

Are you in therapy? I certainly hope so. In not, can you get into therapy? This is something that you shouldn't have to handle alone, my friend. You need to be able to open up to someone who understands all this, and who can help you to cope. A therapist would be able to teach you coping skills, but is also there to listen! We HAVE to have someone to talk to who knows what this is all about and has SOME compassion, however small.

If you're not in therapy, please make an appointment. Your medical doctor can help you with that. And if you are in therapy, please open up and tell everything. That's the only way to heal.

I wish you the very best. God bless. Hugs, Lee

Thanks for the note Leed. I am in therapy, now 3x/week and still doesn't seem enough. I just recently started talking this year. I'm a mess after I leave because I rarely show emotion to show someone but I see 2 therapists. One is the supervisor of the other and both are awesome and experienced in trauma. The reason I see a 2nd therapist is she is trained in EMDR. We are trying but it is slow going because stage 1 is safety and stability and I'm having difficulty. I may be joining a skills group soon will find out tomorrow.

Thanks for the sound advice. I don't know what I would do without a place to go and talk. It is my only place and it still feels I'm alone. I've only ever had this therapist (primary) and she is the best. Been with her 3 years and before that I Little Me carried everything alone. Now I have a space with her to share.
Don't see her til Next week and it makes me sad and lonely.