[lesahrara]

All my life I have been abused. Starting with the punches and choking from my dad to the same and worse from my ex husband. Last year I put my chin up and said enough. I put the ex in jail with abuse charges, and pulled myself together. I entered into a hospitalization program to help me get threw the mental torture I relive in my head. Everything was ok for once. I met a man that was disgusted by abuse and claimed he wanted to give me the break I needed. He offered me a safe place in his arms and healed my wounds. In this last month he has hit me atleast 3 times and strangled me atleast 3 more. One of witch I lost my breath completely. That brought me right back to the place my dad had me in. This man says he loves me and always says it was because he wanted to stop me from freaking out when we argue or to"shock" me. Well... I truely believe he loves me, at the same time I know that if he did no matter how mad I got him he wouldn't hurt me. The choking thing really makes me relive my dads abuse for some reason, it triggers all of those memories I worked on so hard to forget or forgive. I'm scared because I know the answer is to leave but I have nothing. No way to support my kids, no car, no job, and no family left. And.. this is an old one.. I love him. I'm afraid to be alone and to start all over again, putting myself and my kids on the streets.
What do I do... does he love me, is that possable?

[Rapunzel]

There are different types of abusers and different reasons why they do it. It is possible that he loves you, but hitting and strangling you are never acceptable and those actions do not show love. If you love him and want to stay with him, depending on his profile and personality type it could be possible to overcome the problem. He has to be willing to change though and needs to go to treatment.

Can you give us an example of what happens when he is abusive? What does he do or say? What is he like? Is he angry and out of control or calm and systematic?

<font color=green>"Loneliness does not come from having no people about one, but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important to oneself, or from holding certain views which others find inadmissible" Carl Jung</font color=green>

[nightdream]

I'm not good at giving advice but your post got my attention. My heart goes out to you and I'm sorry that this is happening to you.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Lesahrara)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I sure hope things will get better for you!

nightdream

[(JD)]

Please. Leave. This man doesn't love you. He took advantage of you. That's what abusers do... he saw in you a predisposition to accept abuse... and capitalized on it. He bet you aren't strong enough to leave again... I'm betting you are!

With therapy, in time, you will come to recognize these jerks from afar. Take your self by the bootstraps lady and leave! There is plenty of help out there for you... is it worth your life? These kind of men end up killing people like you... ask the experts for the stats!

Please research anything I suggest before believing...

[conklinca]

You need to seek shelter elsewhere. Contact local abuse agencies, community agencies, friends, family, churches, wherever you need to go to get help. Not only is you present arrangement damaging to you, but it is damaging to your children. If he really loves you, he will understand the need for you to be safe while you BOTH get counseling and help. If he doesn't agree to this plan, then you know the answer to how much he really loves you. If he's okay with the new arrangement, there's hope.