[GirlOfManyFaces]

I was raped at the beginning of December, and I was tested in mid December. It came back negative but my mom thinks I may be pregnant. At first I didn't think so. But now I'm starting to believe I am. I have many symptoms. And the sickness and pain keeps getting worse. I'm just a baby myself, I don't want to have one. I haven't grown up yet... And I especially don't want to be pregnant from rape!

I'm really uneasy about all this...

[shortandcute]

I know thats gotta be scary. Its hard enough when you've been raped, but when possible pregnancy is factored in, it makes it harder.

[Big Mama]

Try another test. Your mind can play tricks on you. It can give you all kinds of symptoms.

I'm so sorry for what has happened to you. A baby would complicate things for sure. I was raped many times by the same guy. I don't know how I would handle having his baby. We won't cross that bridge unless we have to. Keep us informed. The folks here at PC can help you cross it together, no matter what the out come. We are all here for each other.

[GirlOfManyFaces]

Thanks, I needed to hear that. I might sneak out to buy a test sometime next week. I'm not sure yet. I need to work a few days do I can actually but it haha

[Big Mama]

been there. They are expensive. When was your last period or when do you expect your next one if you don't mind me asking?

That could answer some questions. If you have regular ones.

[GirlOfManyFaces]

I have no idea. I'm probably the most irregular person there is. I can't remember if I've missed or not. :/ I think I did, but I'm not 100% sure

[amandalouise]

Originally Posted by GirlOfManyFaces

I was raped at the beginning of December, and I was tested in mid December. It came back negative but my mom thinks I may be pregnant. At first I didn't think so. But now I'm starting to believe I am. I have many symptoms. And the sickness and pain keeps getting worse. I'm just a baby myself, I don't want to have one. I haven't grown up yet... And I especially don't want to be pregnant from rape!

I'm really uneasy about all this...

if you think you may be pregnant the thing to do is go back in to your doctor or the ER, let them know you thing you are pregnant and need a blood test... some people that I know do not show positive for pregnancy through the urine test. urine tests can sometimes come up false positives or false negatives but blood work cant do that because it looks at more than just the HCG hormone. your other blood counts will also be adjusting to the pregnancy (which is why theres prenatal vitamins and prenatal iron pills to take during pregancy so the baby isnt taking all your iron and vitamins that you normally have with in your body.

if you are preg from rape you have a few options, as long as you find out as early as possible example.. abortion, adoption, or keeping the baby.

your rape crisis counselor/therapist can help you get information on all of the above and help you sort through things.

[Big Mama]

Well , I to know how that is. It kinda happens when it happens and the closer it is to that time the more I wonder am I preg. I have weird symptoms then the monthly visitor comes along. I'm 38 though and married an don't really want any more kids at the moment.

Have you talked to a professional about what happened.

[GirlOfManyFaces]

No. I don't want to really

[Big Mama]

You might want to consider it. I'm not telling you what to do or anything. Let me tell you what happened to me and where I am now 20+ years later.

I was raped repeatedly by my boyfriend every weekend and some times durring the week to for 9 months. After I broke things off w/ him he stalked me for 3 months. He also attempted suicide or at least told me he did numerus times.

I never told anyone. Not my mom or dad, teachers, friends, I even had a school concealer, I didn't tell her either. I though I could pretend it didn't happen. It worked out great. I put that thought right in the back of my head. I never gave it another thought. (I thought) But it grew, and strained and festered. Then 5 years later I got married. My H thought it was odd that I didn't act very touchy feely, but chucked it up to newly married. 18 years later I am in counceling and have been for about 8 mo. Only here in the past 3 months has the things that happened come to light. The rape has affected my married relationship and every relationship I had before my Husband. It affects how I behave in stores when I see a man, how I am on vacation and riding elevators w/ a man. I had no idea how the littlest things would be affected and how I lived w/ them for so long before knowing it was from the rape. If I would have said something, I would not be in the situation I am in now, which is on the verge of divorce, because I can't relate and don't like to be touched, hugged, hold hands none of that stuff.

I got the T (therepy) I needed. The T never said anything about pressing charges, going after this man, that I was to blame, she never tried to get me to do anything like that that I didn't want to do.

Did you know you can reverse the affects that rape and other trauma's have on your brain. It causes you to freak so badly and causes such stress that it can change how your brain develops. That is what happened to me. I am working to change that. It is hard to reverse what your brain thinks. Those brains are powerful things.

Just sayin. If you don't know you can't make a educated choice. I hope this has helped. I can't say go get T. I didn't right away and I know why. I do understand. Keep talking here at PC. It gives you a voice and people here care. I care.

[GirlOfManyFaces]

Originally Posted by Big Mama

You might want to consider it. I'm not telling you what to do or anything. Let me tell you what happened to me and where I am now 20+ years later.

I was raped repeatedly by my boyfriend every weekend and some times durring the week to for 9 months. After I broke things off w/ him he stalked me for 3 months. He also attempted suicide or at least told me he did numerus times.

I never told anyone. Not my mom or dad, teachers, friends, I even had a school concealer, I didn't tell her either. I though I could pretend it didn't happen. It worked out great. I put that thought right in the back of my head. I never gave it another thought. (I thought) But it grew, and strained and festered. Then 5 years later I got married. My H thought it was odd that I didn't act very touchy feely, but chucked it up to newly married. 18 years later I am in counceling and have been for about 8 mo. Only here in the past 3 months has the things that happened come to light. The rape has affected my married relationship and every relationship I had before my Husband. It affects how I behave in stores when I see a man, how I am on vacation and riding elevators w/ a man. I had no idea how the littlest things would be affected and how I lived w/ them for so long before knowing it was from the rape. If I would have said something, I would not be in the situation I am in now, which is on the verge of divorce, because I can't relate and don't like to be touched, hugged, hold hands none of that stuff.

I got the T (therepy) I needed. The T never said anything about pressing charges, going after this man, that I was to blame, she never tried to get me to do anything like that that I didn't want to do.

Did you know you can reverse the affects that rape and other trauma's have on your brain. It causes you to freak so badly and causes such stress that it can change how your brain develops. That is what happened to me. I am working to change that. It is hard to reverse what your brain thinks. Those brains are powerful things.

Just sayin. If you don't know you can't make a educated choice. I hope this has helped. I can't say go get T. I didn't right away and I know why. I do understand. Keep talking here at PC. It gives you a voice and people here care. I care.

I have a T but I've only been twice and I don't like her. She doesn't help, just make thing worse. I am terrified of men. And it has affected me. I just try to ignore I though. I'm already mentally I'll, why not just add this o it. :/

[Big Mama]

I do know how you feel. My issues have developed into PTSD. You have a T. Thats good it took me 6 mo before I told mine anything about waht happened. Then she had one of those ahh ha moments.

The T I had when this happened I never told.

[Harley47]

I am so sorry this happened to you...please accept that from me. No one deserves to ever have to suffer through that.

I think the best thing to do is to, as soon as you can, try to get a definitive answer, be it from blood work or a pregnancy test. Under extreme stress, the mind can actually impose physical effects on the body...it's called psychosomatic symptoms. Given what you've gone through, it's perfectly, totally normal to be under the "necessary" amount of stress to experience that. In something as this, you need to be sure.

As far as discussing it with your t goes, I advise you do so. If you don't feel your current therapist is effective, I advise, if at all possible, you try to find a new one. A professionally trained therapist has the tools needed to help you work through this, but you can't benefit from that if your therapist and you don't mesh, and you owe it to yourself to be able to have some help in this. You don't deserve to have to go through this alone.

Lastly, please accept my invitation that if I can do anything at all for you, please do not hesitate to PM me for a moment. I'm always open to talk.

Please, know I am praying for you, and please keep us updated. We are all here for you.

Prayers, and hugs,
Harley

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by GirlOfManyFaces

I have a T but I've only been twice and I don't like her. She doesn't help, just make thing worse.

Would you mind explaining more about this?

[GirlOfManyFaces]

Originally Posted by Sannah

Would you mind explaining more about this?

It's hard to explain. It's just a lot of little things. Not one main reason.

[Sannah]

My whole point of asking is to get you to examine what is going on. This is a really helpful thing to do and it can improve your sessions.

[GirlOfManyFaces]

Originally Posted by Sannah

My whole point of asking is to get you to examine what is going on. This is a really helpful thing to do and it can improve your sessions.

She doesn't listen to what I say,
she is always trying to get me to read my bible more,
she makes me talk about the rape when I REALLY don't want to,
she blames me for what happened,
she talks to my mom in private which pisses me off
she is too young
she make a huge deal about my cutting when I don't need help with that problem
she has a bunch of spearhead patterns that piss me off
she is also the therapist for the girl who ruined my life

He room is really messed up
the ceilings are too high
her decorations piss me off
it bothers a lot of my OCD

[Big Mama]

well some of those things are things a T is supposed to do.

Some of those are valid reasons, not that they are bad things, just things that don't click w/ you.

Is your T threw the school or privite. My school T was not one of the best I had. It was better then nothing I guess. If you have not had a lot of visits w/ this T it will be difficult in the begining, it is simply hard work to do T. Sometimes after doing it for a while you get lots more comfortable w/ the whole T thing. It does take a little bit.

You should not give up on T. Sometimes the first T we run across is not the right one, nor is the 2nd or 3rd. But you need to talk to someone about all of this like it or not.

Any ideas on on weather or not you are preg. I think it has been a few days since you first posted this. Sometimes all it takes is a few days for nature to take it's course .
Keep talking to us and keep us updated. The key is to keep talking about it and find support. Support lessens the long term damage that trauma's do to you. So reguardless let us support you threw this.

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by GirlOfManyFaces

She doesn't listen to what I say,
she is always trying to get me to read my bible more,
she makes me talk about the rape when I REALLY don't want to,
she blames me for what happened,
she talks to my mom in private which pisses me off
she is too young
she make a huge deal about my cutting when I don't need help with that problem
she has a bunch of spearhead patterns that piss me off
she is also the therapist for the girl who ruined my life

He room is really messed up
the ceilings are too high
her decorations piss me off
it bothers a lot of my OCD

How do you know that she blames you for the rape? What do you want her to help you with?

[GirlOfManyFaces]

Originally Posted by Sannah

How do you know that she blames you for the rape? What do you want her to help you with?

She always says, people can make bad choices, and some people chose to have sex before they are supposed to. Why did you have sex?... IT WASN'T MY CHOICE!!! She doesn't listen!

I don't know what I want her help with. But I know what I don't want. I don't want her to help me with the cutting and rape situation... I think I need more help with my second personality.

[GirlOfManyFaces]

Originally Posted by Big Mama

well some of those things are things a T is supposed to do.

Some of those are valid reasons, not that they are bad things, just things that don't click w/ you.

Is your T threw the school or privite. My school T was not one of the best I had. It was better then nothing I guess. If you have not had a lot of visits w/ this T it will be difficult in the begining, it is simply hard work to do T. Sometimes after doing it for a while you get lots more comfortable w/ the whole T thing. It does take a little bit.

You should not give up on T. Sometimes the first T we run across is not the right one, nor is the 2nd or 3rd. But you need to talk to someone about all of this like it or not.

Any ideas on on weather or not you are preg. I think it has been a few days since you first posted this. Sometimes all it takes is a few days for nature to take it's course .
Keep talking to us and keep us updated. The key is to keep talking about it and find support. Support lessens the long term damage that trauma's do to you. So reguardless let us support you threw this.

I don't know anything yet. I'm waiting to see if Mother Nature comes next month before I go spend my life savings on a test

[Sannah]

Having a T blame you for a rape isn't good. Do your parents know about this?

Have you told her that you want her to help you with your second personality?

[GirlOfManyFaces]

No... And no... My parents blame me too, everyone does. IT ISNT MY FAULT! But I'm starting to feel it is :/ it's heart wrenching

[Harley47]

It is NOT your fault. Anyone who would say it is absolutely, 100% WRONG. You are in no way to blame for it.

[GirlOfManyFaces]

Originally Posted by Harley47

It is NOT your fault. Anyone who would say it is absolutely, 100% WRONG. You are in no way to blame for it.

If you can do something to stop it, but don't... It's your fault.

I could have tried harder to get away, or spoken up about it earlier, or even stopped it before it happened but dumping him when he started being abusive..... But I didn't... I was blinded by love and stupidity...

It's my fault...