[BrokenNBeautiful]

My companion broke up with me today. Because of my reactions to my memories.

And he did not tell me to my face.

Instead, he sent my friend over, Ani, who said, "Arvind can't handle your survivor problems."

Ouch...

I feel ENOUGH like damaged goods already. I feel more like "BrokenNUgly" than "BrokenNBeautiful".

Where are the good guys?

Or is it me?

I realize that I can't expect ppl to come thru, but it still hurts so much.

He doesn't even want to get together anymore as friends.

Carol

[Lauru]

Oh, I am SOOOO sorry. That is awful, just awful. I don;t know where all the good people are. I lost 2 relationships, with women however not men, due to "survivor issues" including being cheated on. Some things just never get better I guess.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

WHY---DON'T---THEY---UNDERSTAND?!!!!

My g*d!

We are not evil, not bad, not perverted, not negative!

Why do ppl treat us like we ARE our wounds and not ppl WITH wounds?

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Thank g*d I still have Ani.

[H3rmit]

Originally Posted by BrokenNBeautiful

Instead, he sent my friend over, Ani, who said, "Arvind can't handle your survivor problems."

What a jerk and a coward.

It hurts to go through such a thing.

Personally, I'd be smashing things now. Please don't take it out on yourself. (Not saying that smashing things is better!)

[BrokenNBeautiful]

I am numb right now.

I am not sure when I will believe that love is for me, ever. Even friendships.

My higher mind knows that he just couldn't handle it; he is such a gentle, soft-spoken person and he just was not strong enough or knowledgable or experienced enough in this.

Still, it's a great letdown. I have known him since I was 12. When I was 12 till last January, he did not know what had happened to me. It will never cease to amaze me how someone can completely change toward you or go 180 degrees some other way toward you just because you finally tell him some secret you've been keeping forever, and also because you trusted him!

Carol

[shezbut]

(((Carol)))

I'm sorry that your bf couldn't handle being with you anymore.

I have had similar experiences with long-standing relationships as well. My ex-hub couldn't handle anymore of my trauma (emotional & physical), he wanted me to just accept it already and move towards the future without my ongoing depression and self-hate. NOT realistic! I also lost my best friend a year or two ago for the same reason.

Very painful to lose those that supposedly love us. And the walls become harder to break... Gentle hugs to you

[Bill3]

I'm really sorry.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Arvind and I are friends, but we are both very guarded now in how we interact. We still talk about stuff, but he did not come home with me tonight.

I am going to sleep alone now.

I have never been alone.

Carol

[Lauru]

Sometimes Carol, alone is good. Scary but good. I found strength in myself when I learned to sleep alone. I prefer it now actually. I prefer living alone too. This is only my 2nd year of my entire life living alone, and I am 40. And it has only been 1 year since living alone after my last relationship ended, I do prefer to live alone. I can be me, and I accept me as I am. I don't try to make myself into somebody else.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

He called me in the middle of the night last night, around 4am and said, "I miss you." I let him come over and we spent most of the next day Saturday together. But I still can't let him near me sometimes. We both want to get back together, but there is still a wedge between us.

It's like we know we still love each other, but neither one of us can wrap ourselves around this horrible thing that happened to me.

Abuse really destroys.

The hate my aunt had toward my mother and subsequently toward me has damaged me. Not just the icky stuff she did to me. The hateful attitude, the hateful, vengeful, attitude. Now I expect ppl to be that way and I think I am tha tway.

it's so ugly.

Another night alone.

We may or may not talk later.

I think he got mad at me again becuase I was talking to Ani.

I didn't think he was the *jealous* type, either.

I guess love changes things.

Is that really love?

[scarybrat22]

[scarybrat22]

Sorry, I know this is a probably already been done, but have you guys seen a T? Maybe seeing one together would help. Again, sorry if already been done. It isn't like I just solved Cancer or anything. Duh!

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by scarybrat22

Sorry, I know this is a probably already been done, but have you guys seen a T? Maybe seeing one together would help. Again, sorry if already been done. It isn't like I just solved Cancer or anything. Duh!

Cannot afford one and my issues/conditions are too complicated to even get one who will see me with my insurance.

And Arvind isn't doing any better financially.

I will give you the benefit of the doubt. I have shared on here (maybe not too much in Survivors) on other forums that I am not able to be in therapy. But maybe you haven't seen my posts dealing with that issue.

Also, many of us can deal with our problems without seeing anyone.

In fact, since the therapy I was in (when the mental health was doing better and not all cut up from budget cuts) did not deal with my abuse issues, it did me more harm than good. Their solution was, "Don't wallow in your problems".

Thanks anyway,

Carol

[Lauru]

"Don't wallow in your problems". Quote


What a bunch of idiots.

[BrokenNBeautiful]

Originally Posted by Lauru

"Don't wallow in your problems". Quote


What a bunch of idiots.

cheap advice from cheap therapists. "you get what you pay for" It is very rare that I can find a t that I can afford who is GOOD.

thanks,

Carol