Triggers of Abandonment....

Today I found out for sure that my closest friend whom I've known for 5 years is moving across the country. Another friend/aquantance is leaving the country for a year. This comes at a time after my two dogs died a couple months ago.

My T is also going on vacation next week.

I'm a total mess. I'm feeling abandoned and alone. My birthday is next week and I feel like I'll be lucky if anyone remembers it.

I hate goodbye's. Why does it always feel like once I get attached to someone they end up leaving me.

I hope my T doesn't plan on leaving me too. I can't handle one more thing right now. I called my T and she should hopefully be calling me back tonight. I want her to tell me that she's coming back. I can't handle one more painful goodbye.

When growing up I never had reassurance of love or reliability, only abuse. I was neglected and I understand that's where my fear and sadness is coming from yet it doesn't make it any less painful.

My T called me back and I told her about my friend leaving and I was upset. It feels like everyone is leaving. I was too afraid to tell her I was afraid of her leaving and never coming back. I feel ashamed for my feelings.

My T did tell me on the phone that it's ok to feel sad but that I'm not alone and I do have people in my life.

I just wish it didn't feel that way. I'm going to write her and tell her exactly how I feel.

I'm sorry to here of your situation your right about the importance of speaking to your children in love,to anyone, to reassure you your not alone. This is your opportunity not a set back. This sounds like it is an opportunity for you to find your next steps in life. Listen quietly and you will here the inner voice of YOU not your parents and you'll get to see a great future with new friends new adventures and mixing it with the adventures your friends had to take themselves what fun it will be to share your stories together even if it is over the phone or internet. stay strong~