[granite1]

I feel so unhelpable. the pain of dealing with my past is intolerable .I am just not able to do this. in the past I had a T who has helped me deal with my behaviors . when I was younger I was more like a caged animal then a human being.she helped be able to at least exist in the world. I wanted to be better then that .I wanted to be able to work ,to love my husband with all of me ,to accept his love. I cant do it . every time I even think of being able to talk about this stuff I am shut down .I don't feel like I have any control over it. I just cant talk .I cant shut off all the negative feelings. I am so sad and self destructive right now. I just cant be helped and I don't know how to deal with the rest of my life. I don't know how

[sweepy62]

Hi granite I'm so sorry you are feeling thi way I can relate to the caged animal feeling as I was a chid in fact I sometimes I feel the same way. I hope seeing a t. Sending hugs

[nicoleflynn]

I am sorry you feel such anguish. You are not "unhelpable"---those are lies you are telling yourself....everyone is helpable. Are you still in therapy? If you feel shut down, you can write down what you are feeling and give it to a therapist. Hugs, nicole

[Big Mama]

I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I know how you feel. I have T but I can't say the things I want to say. I just can't say the words. My brain just will not let the words abuse, and rape, and sexual assault come out of my mouth.

I do a lot of writing. I can write it but not speak it. My T is ok w/ that. As long as I don't have to say those words I am good. I can answer questions, just not get the conversation started. (and not say those words)

Do you have a T? Have you thought about writing down what you think? It might be worth a try.

[tinyrabbit]

I am so sorry you're struggling like this. I don't know what to say that would help but I wanted to say I'm sorry you're so sad right now.