[Teddy:)]

Is it just me or do you as well find it really hard to acknowledge that someone did something wrong to you? I can't stop thinking that maybe I was overacting to things that went on when I was younger, maybe I deserved it. I keep thinking that what happened was insignificant compared to others, I told my t this and she said that I was too stop thinking like this, but it is not as easy as that, how can i just change my whole thought pattern from when i was 8 to now because it is supposedly wrong and it doesn't work.

Any suggestions on what I should do?

[SimonSays1]

This is double guessing yourself and common with abuse victims. You need to be confident in your decisions and spend time doing what is best for yourself until you are healed. We have been conditioned to belive we "over react" and "deserved what happened" to make us easier prey. However, you need to break free of those chains. I agree with your T.

[the abyss]

i am sorry that happened to you, but it is normal to second guess your self, i do it on the rare occasion even now .
i know what happened to me, it is etched in to my very existence, chiseled into my brain ,
but you can turn it in to a positive by becoming the best person you can be, the kindest person. that is what i try and do . know that some one cares.
take care

[tinyrabbit]

I am the same. My t says I can't bear the reality so I blame myself as a coping mechanism.

I doubt your T expects you to just change your thinking overnight all by yourself. It will take time, little by little.

[Teddy:)]

Originally Posted by tinyrabbit

I am the same. My t says I can't bear the reality so I blame myself as a coping mechanism.

I doubt your T expects you to just change your thinking overnight all by yourself. It will take time, little by little.

If you don't mind me asking, what are some of the things that you have done with your T that you have found helped? We only just touched on the issue at my last session and I freaked out, so she said we would discuss it next time

[blueredgrey]

Dear Teddy,

If as a child, something stuck in your memory as abnormal...then it probably was something abnormal.

Please trust your gut feeling and work with your therapist.

Pls stop comparing pain!! If you are hurt...you are hurt. To say that your pain is insignificant is like telling someone who has had a fracture...that their pain is insignificant....since broken bones hurt more.

A person's wounds may be big, or small....but the wound is still there!

Work with your therapist. Good luck!!

[tinyrabbit]

Originally Posted by Teddy:)

If you don't mind me asking, what are some of the things that you have done with your T that you have found helped? We only just touched on the issue at my last session and I freaked out, so she said we would discuss it next time

I don't mind at all. I'm not sure I have much of an answer for you though as I'm only just starting to address this myself. My T has made a few helpful comments but I freak out easily so it's early days and I'm not sure we've got anywhere yet.

[nicoleflynn]

Perhaps writing it down.....a reality vs. your thinking list might help.

In other words:
1. Reality: What happened to me was NOT my fault; it was the abuser's choice. I am NOT responsible for someone else's behavior. I was a child.

2. Your thinking (I think): It was my fault.

3. I was NOT overreacting; I was reacting as anyone would at being abused.

4. I was overreacting.

5. It WAS significant; anytime someone abuses you it is always significant.

6. Maybe it wasn't that significant

Read it over and over and over; until you feel able to re-program your mind; you were brainwashed to believe that wrong thinking; now you have to de-program the false thoughts. I hope this helps. Hugs