[flapjack]

i stopped sleeping long ago... at least not mentally sleeping,

my brain would never turn off

november 13th marks one year since the last of it

shouldnt i be able to sleep now?
whenever i lay on the bed and look up
i see the ceiling
the same ceiling i stared at years ago, the ceiling i used to escape what was happening on that bed.

i made my mom get me a new bed
but its not the bed
its my mind that wont let me sleep
and i cant get a new one of those

with school starting...
i cant function.. i cant pay attention.. i cant talk i cant format thought.

i wish i still had my therapist..

[Rhapsody]

It has been 10 years and I am going strong with my healing, and I still have moments as you describe..... Please Hang in There.


LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

[FaithisAlive]

Yes, I, too have the same problem. I think your body gets into the habit as a matter of survival and when that coping tool is no longer needed, the body has a hard time breaking the habit.

There might be relaxation techniques you can use before bedtime,such as deep breathing and meditation. And then, too when you feel safe, it might get easier.

For me, I have had this problem for 43 years and so I am having to take meds to help me while I go through therapy and healing because insomnia can take a toll on the body.

I hope you find a way to get relief soon hun.. hang in there.Remind yourself you are a survivor and you are going to be a thriver one day.

Peace, Faith

[arod13]

flapjack... hope you find some peace

[deepblue]

i feel for you flapjack

getting a new bed was a start of changing how you feel, like me staring at the same ceiling didn't help either and even changing that ceiling didn't help me it still lay dormant. It haunts you at times and you do not know why, i do not take meds and do not have a therapist to help me cope with it but maybe if i did would it be any easier for me , not sure tried and tested very briefly and chose to do it my myself. days are better, triggers i seem to cope with very well. but i know it looms deep inside and for that i think it makes me very aware of other peoples feelings to understand mine

[Fuzzybear]

I wish you peace, safety and healing flapjack. I feel for you too..... ((((( safe gentle hugs )))))

[hillbunnyb]

whooooooo boooooooy, staring at the ceiling....... is that a thread or what??????? OMG hit the ol' bullseye with that one. Excuse me while I go off and e triggered for a while.......

[Perna]

Canopy bed (specially made covering so it's a "picture" of your choice or paint the ceiling so it makes you think of other safer/more pleasant/distracting things)?

Why don't you have your therapist (or a new one)? Sounds like you could really use some help!

(((flapjack)))

[flapjack]

i dont know about the canopy bed because it's a twinsize,

therapy is terribly expensive, and when my parents dont know that theres a problem it's hard to convince them to dish out the money, i dont blame them though

within the year i'm going to be moving out of state with the rest of my family though, so maybe i could mention something to my mother then,

[Lindsay]

I am so sorry that you are still having trouble. Its the same way with me. I am at school and don't sleep at all. I am surprised I am keeping up with my studies. I really hope things do get better for you. You deserve to be able to be free from all this pain. I wish I could take it all away from you and everyone else here who has suffers from abuse. I am here for you if you ever need someone to talk to...