[mssumom]

Not in the sense of would you be missed but thinking of myself. I had such a terrible scene with my exhusband last night over I'm not even sure what. It never takes much and he surprised me so it is as much my fault as anybodys because I always count on him being country clubbing on wed nights and he surprised me when I was carrying groceries in....doesn't matter how or even how bad it got but I will be wearing long sleeves and a turtleneck for a week at least, glad it has cooled off.
I'm sorry, I'm just rambling but had to at least get some of this out before going off to work shaking so badly. I've been up all night nursing the pain but enough pills and I will make it through the day. I sometimes wonder if I disappeared how long would it take anyone to notice I was gone?

[Rhapsody]

<font color="brown"> ((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))) </font>

I am so sorry that this happened to you and that you are still having to deal with fear of this man even after you left him for a better future and for safety....

AND YES - YOU would be missed if YOU just disappeared, even if it does not seem like it at times.
I have learned over the years that our interpretation of how people do or do not feel toward us usually lies more with in our own wounded mind & heart than in the other person....

Please know that YOU are LOVED and would be MISSED by many.

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[hillbunnyb]

sorry to sound stupid here, but did your EX-husband attack you? over groceries??? sorry, but I think you could get some clarity and help if you called your nearest battered women's services. This does not sound like a safe home situation for you. You do not desrve to be hurt, ever.

[Fuzzybear]

for me... probably not... except by my husband and a handfull of friends

My husband does believe in me... I am very fortunate having such an honest, tolerant, sincere, intelligent and kind husband.... especially after my "disasterous" childhood Some of my previous serious boyfriends were "toxic" to me...... my husband is not
(((((((((( mssumom ))))))))))))

[almostangela]

((((mssumom))))). Aw, sweetie. You would be missed terribly. It's your ex that won't be missed. Don't hide the evidence. Prosecute the bastard. Gather your friends and family around so you have the support. I know it is degrading but your loved ones suffer more when you try to hide this. People want to help so let them. SOme how, some way you can find a way to stop this from happening again. I would miss you so bad and I haven't had the chance to know you better yet. Please speak up. You are not as alone as you think.

[mssumom]

I shouldn't have said anything......I know people assume that it must be very clear cut....make it stop. I wish it were that easy and that the system saw it that way. I've been to court twice and nothing, have had lawyers that find their hands tied. I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said anything. Sometimes I think posting my thoughts and things that happen help me keep from doing something self destructive but I forget that it must seem that because it has happened again that I must somehow want it to or allow it. Thank you guys for all your support and good thoughts, it has been great here.

[wisewoman]

I am confused. I don't know where you live but carrying a cell phone and calling 911 without him seeing it would get a response and he might be caught in the act. A whistle will startle and better yet, coming from non-violent me, a stun gun! I know it ain't simple but I would like to see the roles balance a bit and you nail him a few times. Good luck.

[mssumom]

I'm sorry, what confuses you? The fact that I've been to court twice with lawyers and the judge seems bored to be there and dismisses it quicker than the time it takes it get seated. I own a gun, oft times don't know who to use it on and has been taken from me on more than one occassion .I am not a violent person either but it was given to me. I could write pages of instances and reports made and police called and, and, and........but I guess I deserve what I get as some people seem to think that it must not be to bad if it happens again, or I must somehow "allow" or "want" it to happen. I guess this has made me feel kind of like the judge has done both times, I need to defend myself and prove something that exists on paper, pictures, phone records but not being caught with his fingers around my throat until I pass out to teach me a lesson, makes it a my burden of proof.

[almostangela]

I know all about what you are going through and your thoughts about it being your fault or deserving of it, or wanting to ask for it and all that stuff. Honey, don't stop fighting. To hell with what other people think. Don't give up, there is always a new tomorrow and a chance to change thing. I know darling

[SeptemberMorn]

NO! You DO NOT deserve it, you don't ASK for it! Hon, you've tried what you know to make it stop. If it's the same judge you've been in front of both times, the HE is wrong! Maybe HE is a wife beater!

Please get rid of that gun. It will only cause you problems, but DO get a stun gun or maze and let that SOB have it but good!! I'll bet HE will go to the cops then. Then you can show them the records you have of an RO but hopefully no more bruises.

Getting in touch with a woman's shelter is also a good idea. They may be able to help you in more than just one way. Maybe some self-defense classes? NO ONE deserves the kind of treatment you're getting.

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{MSSUMOM}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

[JustAPixie]

(((((((( mssumom ))))))))