I NEED ADVICE QUICKLYI'M TEARING MY HAIR OUT HERE. I NEED TO KNOW IF MY FEELINGS ARE JUSTIFIED OR WHETHER THROUGH LACK OF SLEEP AND DEEP DEPRESSION AT THE MOMENT IAMJUST NOT THINKING RATIONALLY.

I HAVE ONLY TOLD MY LIFE STORY TO TWO PEOPLE FROM BEGINING TO END, I MEAN THE BAD PARTS, WHAT HAPPENED WHEN I WAS A CHILD. THE SECOND TIME I WROTE IT DOWN AND I WENT THROUGH SUCH RAW FEELINGS DOING IT.IT TOOK A LOT OF COURAGE TO SEND IT TO A FRIEND.THE FRIEND HAS ALSO BEEN THROUGH HELL AND BACK. THE FRIEND LIVES IN THE SOUTH OF ENGLAND IDON'T SEE HER VERY MUCH. SHE READ IT AND REPLIED TO ME SAYING I'M SORRY BUT IT'S JUST ANOTHER STORY THAT COULD MAKE UP A LIBRARY. IT CUT DEEP. I KNOW IT'S JUST ANOTHER STORY AND I KNOW PEOPLE HAVE GONE THROUGH A LOT WORSE THAN ME, BUT IT'S MY STORY AND I'M TRYINGTO DEAL WITH IT AFTER 35 YEARS OF TORMENT. I FEEL I'M NOW MAKING A MOUNTAIN OUT OF A MOLE HILL. CHILDHOOD ABUSE IS NEVER JUST ANOTHER STORY IF YOU'RE SUFFERING. THIS FRIEND IS VERY DEAR TO ME AND THE MOST CARING PERSON I EVER MET. SHE MEANS NO HARM I KNOW THAT. I'M SURE MY FRIEND WOULD BE MORTIFIED IF SHE NEW SHE'D HURT ME, AM I OVER REACTING? I'VENOT HAD MUCH SLEEP IN A WEEK. MY MINDS FUDDLED I THINK.PLEASE GIVE ME YOUR HONEST OPINION, INEED TO KNOW IF IT'S ME BEING SILLY.

CONFUSED XX

I'm confused. You say this friend is really caring? unyet she replied in a cold off hand manner to something that is precious to you? Maybe your having doubts about her ablity to be a true friend? and this is causing confusion within you? I know when we've been raised unhealthly we know at some level that something is just not right about someone, but unfortunately we are so used to being used adn abused that we fall for the same kind of people?

I will say one thing about this friend though. Maybe your story resonated to deeply with her and she couldn't deal with it other then be offhand with it?

Sharing our story is something I need to be very careful about. I've many times offered it out to people who have not been able to offer the understtanding and compassion I was so desperately asking for?

I Hear your pain at the moment, I am sorry. Please no that with time and appropriate care things improve.

Take care

[sabby]

(((((jinnyann)))))

It's hard to believe that our friends can't possibly feel the pain and anguish that we are going through. They can sympathize and empathize, but our pain is just that, ours. I've learned through the years that things are said in one fashion can be taken by the recipient in a totally different light. Especially if it is the written word and not face to face. We loose the facial expression and voice inflection and may take it the wrong way. I hope that is the case here and that you are right, she didn't mean it in a hurtful way.

I do hope you can get the rest that you so desparately need. Not sleeping really stinks

Hugssssssss
Jean

thankyou both, i am going to docs soon, i think i'm beyond help today. i think both of you are right, and i feel sorry that i doubted my friend. i just hope she sees how i'm feeling right now and hasn't taken offence at my words. you are both very special to me for replying and caring inough to reply. i hope i haven'taroused something deep in my friend. maybe i was wrong confiding in her. i still love my friend and hope she feels the same

jinnyann

[Talulah]

You're not being silly at all! Your experiences are yours alone and they are important for they mean something to you. I don't even know you and I wish I could take your hurt and your suffering away. Perhaps your friend doesn't understand the full extent of your pain and may never will, don't let it into your heart-what they said, some people just don't know what to say. Some people can't muster the kind of words we are waiting for, and maybe they are troubled by it so much that they wish to blow it off because they don't want to beleive someone would make you hurt so badly.

Whatever the reason, I'm sorry , and know that we here all know you're struggling and although it cannot replace a good friend, this is a place of support and it'll always be here in that way!

[Rhapsody]

Maybe she answered you quick and short for she too could not handle another story of h*ll upon a child.

LoVe,
Rhapsody - ((( hugs )))

THANKYOU SO MUCH EVERYONE. I WENT TO DOC AND AT LAST HE'S LISTENING. BEEN REFERRED TO MENTAL HEALTH TEAM AS EMERGENCY. GAVE ME 3 SLEEPING PILLS TO GET ME THROUGH THE WEEKEND. SLEPT 9 HOURS!!!!!!!I SPOKE TO MY FRIEND AND YOU WERE ALL RIGHT IN A WAY. WE ARE OK NOW. I STILL LOVE MY FRIEND SO MUCH AND IT WAS A MISUNDERSTANDING. I FEEL THE ONLY WAY IS UP FRM NOW AND YOU ALL HELPED ME TO FEEL SAFE AND BETTER THAN I DID, FOR THAT I CAN NEVER THANK YOU ENOUGH SPEAK SOON,

JINNYANN (KERRY) XXXXXXXX WHEN YOU THIN K OF THE UNIVERS AND HOW MASSIVE IT IS, OUR PLANET IS A SPEC, SO WE ARE VERY CLOSE REALLY.....

[Calm]

So glad you were able to work out that issue with your dear friend. Sounds as if your spirit has lifted some and that is always a good thing.

Calm

[Talulah]

Jinny, sleep can do wonders for nurturing the spirit and mind! Glad you're finding insight with your friend and communicating your feelings in that way. I could take a lesson from you there...

yes, the universe is incredible and so connected and yep, we have all found ourselves here together...and that feels nice.