[xtended]

I was sexually abused as child by my mother's father. When I told her at 12, I had already stopped the abuse by never being alone with him. Her reaction was to bury it, as she had her own childhood abuse. I thought I was ok with this until recently. I am now 44 and I am dealing with a situation where she has chosen to ignore and bury another issue. This situation is a sibling's adultery and lying to his family and us. He is doing it openly enough to have been seen and still he denies it to mother, wife and kids. I cannot speak with my mother about my sibling because I feel so betrayed that she would chose to believe him rather than face the truth and as painful as that might be begin the healing process. I am so angry and hurt that it has impacted my relationship with her and my brother. Am I expecting too much and over reacting??? Can't sleep, chest feels like a band is on it and I am eating too much so I really need to deal better.

If you aren't in therapy....this would be a good time to start. When our "old stuff" percolates up and interferes with life, it's time to think about talking about the old stuff. Even if you have talked about it to a professional before...it sounds like you may need to rehash it. Talking really is healing and empowering....imo.

This sounds very painful, and I'm so sorry you are in this situation.

Take care of yourself, em

[LILITH]

Hello Extended, In my day I am a 10 years older than you, incest ways very prevalent... the elders use to say it was the way of life. So my abuse stayed inside it ate away at me everyday all day. There are a lot of things I was pressured into doing for the sake of family. None of which was the right thing to do. I am paying for it now. Sometimes it is best to just let family stuff go.

[Talulah]

I am so sorry for your turmoil and suffering right now. It can be so hard to go it alone when nobody (especially family) cannot or will not provide answers for you(or are the cause). Know you are not alone in this universe and unfortunately many of us know your pain.
If you need to find healthier alternative ways to deal with this, talking to a therapist or counselor, even for a little while, can really help provide the support to get you through. What you're dealing with is horrifying and ugly and if it's impacting you, then don't stuff it back or put it to the side, take control and fight it. realize your worth, I don't think you're overreacting at all. Maybe its bubbling up because you're ready to take it on...

Hugs Xtended....hugs to you.