[PianogirlPlays]

Grandfather, Mother , Father , my sister and I , my daughter and my son to a lesser extent have all suffered the pain of abuse. Physical, emotional and some accidental exposure to sexual abuse. Suffering shows in fear, guilt, control, anger, hatreds, lack of compassion,and verbal abuse. Fortunately, the grandchildren are not being so abused. My daughter's son has been controlled a lot and tends to isolate but no physical abuse. My relationships with them are a struggle. Yes, I apologized many years ago for my part. My Mother couldn't get it and my Father was long out of my life. I am angry about this long sick heritage and its affect on us all. I had many benefits financially and even love but this has seriously marred my life, well being and relationships. I have tried to overcome and even tried to get help but here I am still suffering and struggling in my relationships .

[Bluegrey]

It hurts when we don't have the emotional support we need and instead get abuse of some kind.

These things can pass down the generations, I'm told, but I'm glad you have tried to get help. Are you having any kind of therapy at the moment? It sounds as if you are in a lot of pain - we are here for you and will listen when you need to vent.


Bluegrey

[PianogirlPlays]

Even worse I treat myself poorly on the inside..recent hurts with family have made me worse. I feel so badly I haven't even told my counselor yet. I thought it might go away better if I kept it to myself. Not working out so well though. I will on Monday.

[PianogirlPlays]

I am horrified by the anger , frustration and pain I feel in this very confusing up down in out relationship with my adult daughter. I have had some really painful contacts with her and I have been foolish enough to try to make some positive kind of contact with her but it goes south very quickly. I struggle with not having contact but get in heaps of trouble when I do. We have had some better moments but I it feels so unsettled because I can't talk to her about my feelings. Bad tempers flair with any effort to find understanding. It wouldn't be so bad if it didn't upset me so. I can't seem to be happy living in limbo. I would like something positive to happen to get to a better feeling. I am angry , upset and miserable to have this important relationship so disturbed.

[Bluegrey]

I'm sorry you are feeling so upset about your relationship with your daughter, Pianogirl. I get on very well with my younger son, but my older son and I seem always to rub each other up the wrong way. It's really painful when the relationship we have with our children is damaged.

Your counsellor will want to know about the really, really hard things - I know how difficult it is to trust enough to do this though. I hope you can find the courage to talk about all this on Monday.


Bluegrey

[PianogirlPlays]

Thank you for your encouragement to try to deal with this with the couselor tomorrow.

How does one get "some accidental exposure to sexual abuse"?

Not trying to be cute, funny or sarcastic ...

Just trying to understand.

[PianogirlPlays]

Originally Posted by Pfrog

How does one get "some accidental exposure to sexual abuse"?

Not trying to be cute, funny or sarcastic ...

Just trying to understand.

Some non family member suddenly does something weird. All you can do is deal with after the fact. Get the person away. It is so unplanned and so unprepared. It can happen.

[*PeaceLily*]

I feel you!! My family's the same, and I have no relationship with my mother as a result, and that really hurts me. My father...I can deal with no relationship with him, but as a woman, I would love a mother.This generational trend both saddens me and scares me xxx

[PianogirlPlays]

Originally Posted by *PeaceLily*

I feel you!! My family's the same, and I have no relationship with my mother as a result, and that really hurts me. My father...I can deal with no relationship with him, but as a woman, I would love a mother.This generational trend both saddens me and scares me xxx

Hope you find friends who can help fill the bill.

[PianogirlPlays]

Maybe a time for a letter I don't send!

[ladytiger]

Yea still suffering to this day for me. I had my share of therapy and thank god it was over a few months ago nothing but arguing with that ex-therapist. Most of them are so damn broken why would i wanna take their advice on anything? She makes it sound like I can be whole again nobody is the same once they've been abused