[estrellabonita]

i struggle with everyday life ever sense my ex left me for the 2nd time 'cuz i had no money.

i don't go out really, even with the couple of few friends i have. i won't go see the guy i'm talking to, 'cuz i'm afraid of him talking bad to me in front of his friends or being some joke to them 'cuz of stuff he's said about me or done behind my back. and i'm afraid of other girls. i'm afraid of him flirting with them or staring at them while blatantly ignoring me and then getting mad if i say something.

i hate when people find out where i live when i don't want them to.

and the sad part is, i can't even tell Raj (the guy i'm talking to) about all this, 'cuz i don't want to put all my problems on him - or anyone else really.

Hi estrellabonita,

I like your screen name(pretty star )

I'm sorry you are struggling. I found myself in much of your post-- I don't go out at all -- I haven't any IRL friends. I worry that my husband is searching for a new mate-- even though there is no evidence of it. I get my stomach all in knots when he talks to other females--even if it's for his work.

I also worry that people say bad things about me when I'm not around... and it's hard for me to let others know where I live.

I also kept all this to myself for years and years..... it's not a good thing to do though(believe me-- I've paid for doing so)-- it's good you have expressed your struggles here. Hope you will continue to.

I'll help any way I can-- though I struggle with similar so I might not be of much help-- but I can listen.

Please know that thoughts are just that-- "thoughts" and are often-- for some of us--- not reality.

You can PM me if you feel more comfortable with that. I do that a lot with some very kind people here.

Take care-- estrellabonita

mandy