In complex trauma, how much should you tell a trauma therapist at first??

Hi,

I have a new therapist who speacialises in trauma and dissociation. Sounds like a good fit, but the only trouble is he scares the hell out of me due to being both a human being, and a man...although that may very possibly not be his fault. ;-)

Basically, I was completely unable to talk during our first couple of sessions. I suggested writing some stuff down for him, and he said that would be helpful.

So, here I am writing stuff down, and a lot of the stuff about the childhood abuse and the adult domestic abuse situation is flowing fairly naturally. But should I be telling him that stuff when we're only 3 sessions in?? I wanted to give him some context as to why I'm struggling with him being a man. I wanted to give him some context as to what I meant when I said 'I've lived in a different world'.

But is this weird?? I've gone from saying nothing, to being able to write a page and a half of A4. I'm frequently able to write what I can't say, but should I be holding back a bit? I haven't sent it to him yet.I don't want to be doing anything crazy. I feel like I am ok with him having the information, but I don't want him to think I'm nuts for suddenly telling him it.

For those from longterm abuse situations, particularly those who have never NOT experienced trauma, how much did you tell, and how soon did you tell it?

Thanks

X

Is this something that must be emailed? Or can you write it out, print it, hold onto it, and explain you aren't comfortable divulging everything so quickly?

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I don't have to email it. I said I would. I am comfortable with it. I just wondered how much people generally tell at first. I don't want to look crazy if I end up saying too much.

I think you can tell him whatever you are comfortable telling him. I have written out stuff and handed it to a newer T before. If you think it will help him understand things better, go for it. when I've handed over something like that, I've told T that it was a bunch of info that I needed/wanted her to have, but wasn't sure how to prioritize it all...

I agree with TWO, you can reveal whatever you're ready to disclose, whenever you're ready to do it. It has taken me a long time to start opening up to my t. She always said 'slowly, slowly'. But she is also ready to listen whenever I feel like taking a risk and confiding in her. If it's ready to come out, let it out. But if you want to write it and not share it yet with your t, you can do that instead Whatever you are comfortable with.

Share with him as much as you are comfortable with. There is no set of rules for this sort of thing. While I haven't experienced life long trauma, I was abused and I started slowly and then kind of brain dumped a lot on my t in written form. But if your comfortable sharing more now, than do it! He's not going to think your crazy for sharing what you perceive as so much so soon, he'll think your brave for being able to do that. (but paradoxilly he's not going to think your not brave if you don't)

Thanks for your post and thanks to all those that replied. I have a very similar sounding situation going on: I meet a new psychologist soon that specializes in trauma and ptsd. He is also a man, and this will be my first guy therapist. I cancelled once already because I am struggling with such intense anxiety-- he was reluctant to offer me a second chance but I was able to admit to him my fears about therapy and etc. I'm glad I was able to open up, it lifted the elephant off my chest and now I'm actually feeling more positive to meet him. This thread has also helped me. I'll let you know how it goes, maybe he's really a funny looking dinosaur skeleton that escaped from the museum but yeah he sure knows how to email even if his voice was my idea of prehistoric....oh well, maybe I'll tell him how I must be going crazy if I fear he might be a dinosaur ��