[sujunew]

I, umm, told my mother on Thursday night about what I am working on in therapy at the moment.
I don't know what I was expecting.
I had decided not to tell her at all
As I couldn't stand the thought of her (expected) reaction
Which wouldn't have been bad, probably more smothering than anything
Thank goodness I live over 1000km from her!
Sure, I was my usual 'cheery' self, acting as tho nothing at all was wrong in my life
And talking to her in a very roundabout way
She normally remembers the tiniest detail of almost everything
But can't even remember the dress I was wearing
Let alone how I was around the time
Sure, I can appreciate that she was going thru a totally rough time then as it was when my father was really sick and being diagnosed with bipolar
But I guess that her reaction (or lack? of reaction) is not what I was expecting
I thought there would have been lots of questions; lots of txts to see how I was; my mother freaking out about it all
But nothing- except agreement to my guess that she was going to spend the weekend looking thru the photo albumns to find a pic of me in 'that' dress
I don't know what I wanted from her
Nothing really, maybe some answers which I know she hasn't got
So I am no further forward
And now I have told her- this is where my anxieties really kick in as I already have major trust issues with her- and i don't know who will be told now...

[(JD)]

((((hugs))))

Ok, actually, I think that went well. She was careful not to say anything that could upset you, and that's a good thing. Maybe she really is foggy on some details..or maybe she recalls it differently but didn't want to confront you with her memory that way? IDK. That she is going to look through the photo albums, and you guessed she would correctly... that tells me things are still basically normal family dynamics for you? But to say things haven't changed?

I hope you feel good about sharing... secrecy can eat us up at times...
I sure understand making a decision in therapy and then for some reason, not following through on what you decided. I think it has to do with the support IRL when in session?

I wish you good things from this. If nothing else, you don't have to carry that secret from her any more.

(((((((irish)))))))))) sending you well-wishes. I know it can be difficult talking to our family about our struggles. I hope you both can work through this in a way that is healing for all.

[sujunew]

(((((sky))))) (((((ev)))))
thank you

[Rhapsody]

<font color="purple">((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS ))))))) </font>

I am sorry that you are hurting right now and that your mother was not yet ready to talk about the past - a past that holds pain for you and for her in it..... hang in there and know that while your mother does love you and she does care.... she is not ready (able) to talk about the past quite yet - for in doing so she must then face her own wrong in all this, and we all know the worse demon to face is the one staring back at you when you look in the mirror.