Sympathy

My future mother in law had a random tooth pulled....after the "event" she recieved prescription drugs and has taken an entire week off from work...i understand if it is the wisdom tooth....but an entire week and prescription drugs for a random tooth? And not only that she is draped across the couch in the living with pillows and blankets and all her lined up medications....yes...she is taking more than the prescription.....i dont now...people are angry with me because i have no sympathy for her...why ...because when i was sick....i was in so much pain i lost 15 pounds and was actually in tears just sitting on the couch...and i got bombarded by her and she yelled at my bf because i was "making it all up" here to find out my body has IBS and the fact that i switched my entire diet so suddenly to something i wasnt used to was the problem....i still dont know why my bones hurt...they still do but i am unable to say anything and bf gives me some tramadol...a pain killer thats actually in his name but he doesnt need it....and when i was sick they forced me to go to work...it was like h*ll because i had to lift boxes and stock shelves ...and here she is laying on a couch telling everyone and anything that her jaw hurts....i could care less...in fact inside myself im angry about it.....but i try not to get angry about it....and the fact that my two days off have to be listening to her...but thats another story....i dont know...i put this in the survivors of abuse because my mother never believed i was sick...the only 2 times i can give her that credit were when my wisdom teeth were cut out and when i had strep throat really bad because the doctor thought i was faking (do i see a pattern lol) when i am sick i dont tend to show it very well like sick people do...its pretty much inside of me...and when i state to people this is what i need they think im kidding....and the only times im actually look and act sick ....is like before with the wisdom teeth and strep throat and my recent IBS attack....my boyfriend knows when im sick and never gives me a hard time....its rough..and then when they are sick they want me to fawn all over them and bow down to them and say about how sick they look....w/e!!!!! when they really are sick, the kinda too sick where they dont care what people say...then i care...like when my mom had surgery...i was right there bringing her coffee and cigerettes (lol she forced me) and i did it all....and here, i have yet to see a real sick person.....so my caring has not been....brought to the surface....but the kinda bad thing is...i dont even have one caring inch for them in my body...not even by human instinct...im cold when it comes to that...isnt that terrible..i really feel like a terrible person .....i mean if my bf gets sick i fawn all over his butt....but pretty much i have no sympathy .....isnt that sad...im kinda dissapointed in myself for that...i have sympathy for strangers....and i love taking care of people...but when its people i know and/or live with i have no compassion...especially women.....men are alittle different .....but women i could care less isnt that terrible...what do you guys make of that?????I have no idea....sorry its so long

You know...I don't know what to make of it. Kinda the same thing happens to me. It is difficult for me to show compassion to the women in my family. Not just with physical ailments, but emotional hurts as well.

My therapists tends to think it is because my mom left me when I was a baby and I never formed strong bonds with a woman. I don't know, was your mother emotionally available and supportive to you when you were young? Just a thought...

no my mother was never available..emotionally or physically....or supportive... maybe thats why...i dont know...but im sure glad you responded to me...thanks

nobody else wants to post?? At all?

bump

I never had a meaningful relationship with any woman growing up. My mother was a horriblly violent alcoholic. All the neighbors and teachers knew, and did nothing. Now, all of my doctors and 99% of my friends are men. Weird, huh?

Take gentle care,

Dee

I can understand. I am becoming more and more unable to feel compassion for certain people in my own life. I am not sure why this is happening.

Considering your upbringing, I do not think it is unusual at all, that you are struggling with this. I commend you for recognizing the issue and having the courage to discuss it with your T to find resolution. That is such a huge step and you should be proud of that.

I hate when people milk their sickness for sympathy.Your feelings are valid here. I would be angry as well.

Be easy on yourself. I feel like you are judging yourself for feelings that are beyond your control. As I said before, recognition is half the battle. Cut yourself some slack. Healing from childhood scare takes a long, long time.

Hang in there.

Huggles,

Jen