[PsychoPhil]

From Wikipedia: "Child sexual abuse is a form of child abuse in which a child is abused for the sexual gratification of an adult or older adolescent."

Now I'm wondering where boundaries run between physical and sexual abuse. Is it sufficient for a classification as sexual to include traits of sadism, or does it have to involve indecent exposure?

What if the adult abuser is not rationally aware of a sadistic motivation, where she gets sexual gratification without admitting it to himself? Or is the experience of the abused, for instance the extent of humiliation, the more important criterion?

Sorry, this will be triggering. I try not to be too specific, but I'd like to get some opinions from the community.

If the fully dressed child is restrained by wrists and neck into a humiliating position to be beaten on the buttocks by the likewise fully dressed abuser, is this clearly physical abuse or in a grey area?

What if traits of sadism mix in with nudity? For instance, a dressed adult beating a naked child with an object, like a shoe or cane, without touching or aiming for genitals, but with a ferocity that the child feels terrorised, and is later ashamed of body reactions?

The abuse involving nudity affected my self-esteem more severely, similar to what victims of sexual abuse report. But then forms of abuse where genitals are touched may still be way worse, and I haven't experienced these.

So is this clearly physical abuse, is it in a grey area, or how does one correctly differentiate between physical and sexual abuse?

Some people consider nudity of the child being beaten to still be sexual abuse. For some,it doesn't have to be full nudity, exposing the buttocks is enough. The abuser doesn't have to be undressed too.

This link says coerced nudity is sexual abuse. I'm guessing you had to strip for those beatings. Which would make it coercive nudity.
https://www.dshs.wa.gov/altsa/home-a...nd-signs-abuse

[Amyjay]

It's all abuse and it happened. It affected you how it affected you and nothing is going to that no matter what it is labelled. You can call it physical sexual sadistic or whatever you like. It all hurt. It all needs healing.
Other people may have had different types of abuse, but your experience doesn't lessen theirs or make theirs any worse, just as yours doesn't affect theirs. Child abuse is hurtful, full stop. Where harm has been caused, it is helpful to heal it. Your hurt needs no justification or comparison to that of another.
You were abused. It was wrong and it harmed you and you will be better off if you can find ways to heal from it.

[Albatross2008]

I think the categorization is less important than the damage it did, and what to do to heal it. If you do want to classify it, I would say that sexual abuse is anything done to stimulate and satisfy the needs of the abuser. Sometimes physical violence does accomplish that, so the lines between the categories are blurred.

[PsychoPhil]

I'm not sure what to answer when asked in assessment sessions, where abuse is in categories of verbal, emotional, physical, and sexual without going into details. I might have liked an option "It's complicated" somewhere in between.

When I was already used to being slapped in the face or hit on the buttocks by hand, the caning with coerced nudity took it to a whole new level. When it happened, I felt wrong and unwanted, somehow flawed. But I'm unsure why exactly it felt so emotionally different from regular beatings, which also satisfy the needs of the abuser. For sure my parents reacted in ways I could not understand. My body image issues started not long after the incident where my dad entered the bathroom without warning and started hitting me with that same cane when I was fully naked, forcing me to admit something I hadn't even done.

Healing from it is the most complicated bit. I engage in some abusive behaviour patterns myself, in line with borderline diagnostic criteria. I'm obsessing about doing out of character and socially unacceptable actions, a.k.a. harm OCD. I suffer from severely low self-esteem. It feels like a hell of a mess.

[Amyjay]

When it comes to those assessment questions - it was YOUR abuse, YOUR experience, you can call it whatever feels right to you. You can own it and explore it however best meets your need for healing or validation. Whatever you want to call it for you doesn't need to meet a legal definition or criteria. If it feels like sexual abuse, if it crossed that line to you, if it harmed your developing sexuality or sexual identity or sexual experience or whatever, you can call it that and own it as yours. It doesn't need to meet anyone else's criteria and it is as valid as anyone else's abuse experiences. It harmed you. It was real. It wasn't "nothing"!

edited to add - I can understand why those things he did were all confused with sexuality. Children and teenagers are developing their sexual identity and to have your privacy invaded in that way an paired with violence would have definitely had a negative impact on that development in you.

[dlantern]

I think no terms should be off limit I think it is all abuse all encompassing. I think those that need verbiage are invalidating, for the example it is both. If your therapist is forcing you to say words arent ready for then I suggest you get another therapist.

[PsychoPhil]

No, my current T didn't label the abuse at all. Because of a previous therapy I can now speak about it fairly well, and we were quick to cover the worst incidents for a better understanding of my current issues.

My family doctor was asking about the type of abuse in sexual/non-sexual brackets after I suggested a pdoc referral. Because I was unable to clearly answer the question, she seems to have concluded I was sexually abused and arranged for a pdoc appointment. So those categories can make a huge difference for treatment.

[wordshaker]

Hi, I think whenever you felt that yukky feeling in the pit of your stomach in addition to the usual fear/dread, that was sexual abuse. And just objectively, the positioning and nudity is sexual in my opinion. It's awful and weird to have to put things into neat boxes that don't work that way. But I think you GP was correct in surmising that elements or your abuse are sexual. I wish you well in your quest for healing. You deserve good things.

[PsychoPhil]

Wordshaker, thanks! During the caning incident whilst naked in the bathroom I felt terror and seeing my urine coming up in a fountain, shame and humiliation. That same evening I was called down to say good night to my parents. Aside of my fear to come close it was disgusting to be touched. Just as you say, this additional feeling makes me think the abuse was sexual.

Had a stranger done this my parents would have come to the same conclusion.