trigger warning bad trigger, what I remember.........

I remember camping in winter, making fires on a dry river bed.

I was only 9/10 at this point, my mum was having an affair with my perpetrator (sp)she slept in the van and left me with mixed teens, boys girls, I heard them having sex, it scared me. I was so cold this night. I knew she was with him, she wasn't bothered I knew, I had to carry the guilt of my dad not knowing. I used to feel sorry for men in glasses, they made me sad, my dad wore glasses, I didn't assossiate why I felt this way until later....

I cried, my whole body was numb with cold, only a thin sleeping bag. I cried. Then cried louder so mum could hear. I was s cold I couldn't move. My hands and feet like ICE. Eventually she came with a soda botle filled with warm water, she was angry I had 'disturbed' her. I never slept the whole night it was so cold.
The others kept saying horrible things to me and telling me to shut up.

The next day, or around that time, mum had to go home for something, only 20 miles from where we were camping. Whilst she was gone something happened, I have amnesia, I hid up a tree and wet myself I was scared, all the others saw and laughed at me.... I will never forget the shame and the embarrassement, I would not come down until mum came back....I cant remember anything else.

Part 2 of what I remember it's all jumbled up.....

He was a hypnotist. My mum sent me to him to lose weight when I was 13/14. I was not fat.

He told me he was going to show me something beautiful, don't remember anything else, I never went again.......

I remember him telling me he had a patient who was really depressed and wanted to die, he said the power of the mind could make you do anything, the patient died on his couch.

I remember hand marks high up near the ceiling.

I remember my mum telling me he did abortions, he was not qualified. I remember my mum telling me she sat in on a few herself, she said she was naive....

I rememer he had a fertility clinic - again he was not qualified, mum says he used his own sperm to make women who came to him pregnant.

i TOLD THE POLICE. They are still looking for him now.....

How sick can one man be.....

Jin

Sitting s i l e n t l y : (((( jin )))...

(((((((((((((((((((((((((jinnyann)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) To the young ones who need so many hugs.

BB

Thankyou (((((wm)))))

((((((((BB)))))) good therapy session today, told to slow down, going too quick, relieved.

Jin xxxxxxx

I'm so sorry that happened jinnyann. No child should ever have to endure that kind of torture.

Be safe.

Cyran0

It's strange how our minds put aside such suffering. Maybe it does that so we can forget and continue through life, but either way it remains on the other side corrupting. These are horrible things you experienced...I'm sorry for your hurt.