Sometimes I get triggered by the silliest things....

I have PTSD from childhood abuse and school bullying.

Nowadays, I have a husband who likes to watch crime dramas on TV. I can't handle some of them. Nothing against the actors, and the other staff involved. Good acting, good writing. Maybe a little too good.

Ordinarily, NCIS is one of those exceptions. But sometimes, especially watching the earlier seasons on Netflix as my husband really enjoys doing, something can set me off.

It's the way DiNozzo picks on McGee. I doubt such workplace bullying would be tolerated in real life nowadays, but this is television, and a lot of people find that kind of mean-spiritedness entertaining. When I was in McGee's position (which I have been, too often) I was only told I need to toughen up and learn to take teasing. (Note: It isn't teasing if they're actually *trying* to hurt somebody.)

Yeah, people enjoy insults. But me... it just brings back too many bad memories.

And even now, the reaction I'm half expecting is, "Well, if you can't handle it, then don't watch, you offended little snowflake."

So many shows on tv now are about insults, verbal abuse...take Archie Bunker.....horrible verbal abuse; I still don't understand how people laugh at abuse. Don't watch anything that upsets you and you don't have to explain yourself.

Kind of funny that I can handle the gore and the violence, but the insults and emotional manipulation tear me to pieces. SVU gets me not when the crime happens, but when the criminal gets cocky with the police during the investigation and prosecution. Then go to the courtroom scene, and It just makes me want to scream and smash the television with a sledge hammer.

Crime shows have me in panic mode constantly. I used to have to sleep with it on all night. I didn't realize that was what was doing it. Shows with child abuse make me so angry I want to hurt the actors, almost.
Rectangle school pizza triggers cafeteria memories, and that snowballs me every time. Thinking about it even messed me up just now.

I'm sorry about that.

Gotta think and talk my way through it. It helps to slowly desensitize myself by thinking and journaling about some of this that I can on my own and save the big things for therapy. Journaled last night and again this morning and that led me to parts of the play I'm trying my hand at, so it's all had a good outcome. I don't think anyone will ever want to ever read this play, "streetcar" is a mostly happy thing compared to what I'm writing. "Streetcar" is also good, in marked contrast

Law and Order SUV triggers the crap out of me. So I understand.

I stopped watching crime shows. I used to watch them all the time when I was being abused by my ex. I don't know why. Same with animal cop shows.

You're not a sensitive snowflake. I was bullied all throughout school. Bullying and yelling still trigger me.

Please do not allow yourself to feel bad for the way you feel regarding this. You clearly have a pass that still has an affect on you and it is ok to have that. It is ok to not be able to watch certain shows and walk away. If it is how you feel, then it is how you feel, no reason to explain yourself to someone who is insensitive to your feelings towards things.

Thanks for the support.

Some comedies can trigger me too. Family Guy is another show I just can't stand to watch. It's the way they treat Meg. Brings back too many memories. Sure, it's funny. If you haven't lived through it yourself.

Even The Office (US version) kind of made me sick to my stomach. My therapist explained that one to me. I spent my life being raised by a mother who just doesn't get it, and now I don't want to watch a workplace comedy with a boss who just doesn't get it.

'Snowflake' is just a word bullies use to legitimise bullying behaviour.