When an abused person turns absuive towards you

Someone gave a speech long time ago about how:

The husband takes the anger out on the wife; the wife takes it out on the kids; the kids take it out on the dog; and the dog takes it out on the yard.

What do you do when an abused person is so stressed out from her abusive relationship that she takes it out on you to the point she is abusive? Where do you draw the line and say, "I want to be understanding, but there is no excuse for your behavior?"

And how do you explain the behavior when someone abuses you mimicing the very abuse she is receiving from her partner? He is controlling towards her; and she is controlling towards you. He puts her down to make her feel bad about herself and she does the same to you.

P.S. This may not be purely a "coping" issue since she was kind of toxic prior to being in an abusive relationship.

Unless it’s a situation when you absolutely must stay around abusive person (such as you share a prison cell and can’t escape for example ), the solution is to not be around abusive person. Is there a reason you have to spend time with this person?

If there is no way to escape her or him on occasion (sometimes you just have to be around like family function that you must attend) you limit your interaction with abusive person to absolute minimum. In and out kind of thing.

I don’t think you can do anything else but jusr not be around abusuve people or limit interactions to a minimum

Unfortunately there's not much you can do. Just avoid that person as much as you can if you want to stop the cycle. The alternative is making her realize there is a problem and hopefully seek professional help, but that doesn't really depend on you. I'm sorry

Yes, I can't completely avoid her because of the functions I have to attend. But I will try to avoid interaction with her as much as possible. Thank you.

True. Thank you.

Bless your heart, dealing with abusive people is so stressful. One of the things I have learned is some abusers will switch to abuse other people if they no longer get the response they are shooting for.

But, a lot of abusers just up their abuse if they don't get the response they need. If they get off balance, they elevate their rage to regain their hateful balance and to send you crashing to the ground in the process. Not literally, I mean.

Before my self-esteem was stronger, I would have several narcissists as friends because they preyed on my desperation to have friends. Plus, that personality was familiar to me, growing up with a narcissist mother.

Learning to be assertive helped me and I encourage you to read up on it because it can help reduce your stress as well as managing some people like that.

Here one place you can start with: Being assertive: Reduce stress, communicate better - Mayo Clinic

Honey, I wish you the best in this! It is tricky but it can help you. Also, try to keep in mind that people who are abusive are the problem. You will need to learn new strategies to manage them.

Happy Crafter, I saw your blog! Thank you for this advice and an inspiring blog!

You are most welcome! I thank you and you just made my day!! xoxoxoxox

There not much that you can do only avoid them and earn warn people about their situation and how they treat people.

Great advice! Limited contacts with this person

Have you thought about saying I'm get something to drink or eat and not come back?

Great advice!

Yes. Great suggestion : ).