"it's all your fault"

is litirally the worst phrase anyone can say to me

when people say it, I don't just get angry and triggered, I litirally want to



I wish I didn't feel that way- I wish I could cope with that statement in a better way, but I can't.

that's the one thing I can not cope with and it actually embarrasses me

They don't have to say it. I already feel that way.
Sorry you're having troubles too

I was once told that by a hospital psychiatrist. Only he didn't use the word "all".

Actually, what he said (and I think I remember it pretty accurately) was "I don't know how you got into this situation, but one thing I do know: it was your own fault". This was at a time when I felt about as badly about myself as was possible.

Nice to hear that from a psychiatrist.

I guess it relieves the discomfort of the person who tells you that.

You don't need to be embarassed. We all have trigger words and topics. You can do mindfulness/ spiritual exercise internalizing the fact that it is NOT all of your fault. You can build a strong wall around your heart (and it takes time, as it took me very long time and I'm still working on some of it) so that words coming from the outside just bounces off.

And someone who uses the phrase "It's all your fault" is blame-shifting and failing to take responsibility. It takes two to form a relationship and two for things to go wrong.

Ugh, I'm so sorry! I will never understand why people are so determined to assign blame. What does that do, even?

I can relate, while it doesn’t trigger me in the same way, I believe it when it’s said to me.

Grrrrrr How “nice” to hear that from a psychiatrist, I agree.

I suppose it does relieve some of their discomfort as they project their crap onto us..

I'm sorry that you are struggling right now!